Over the Rainbow Bridge -Lessons about life and death

Re-connecting with old friends!

2012-01-21T14:23:00.000-08:00

I was so pleasantly surprised this week when out of the blue I received an email from my son's 1st grade teacher Teresa Goethe. This was as a result of one of those six degrees of separation or small world deals because there is a class photograph in my book on page 100 where Teresa and the kids are sitting in rows. Well, someone she works with now - 30 years later recognized her while reading my book. So she approached Teresa at work with this information. Anway, long story short - Teresa dug out some photos from that school year - photos I had never seen before...she scanned them and emailed them to me. What a treat! I cried of course and then immediately posted them on my Facebook page to share with my friends and family members who either knew him, loved him or knew of him from reading my book. If any of you out there who read this blog have pictures to share with me - please do! Aloha!

My sister Penny

2012-01-21T14:08:00.000-08:00

So, as if my family hasn't been struck by lightning too many times already - I got a scared and scary telephone call from my sister Penny last week and it has taken me this long to digest it. She was coughing and not able to sleep so she went to the doctor for cough syrup... she ended up with X-rays, CT scan, PET scan, biopsy and massive amount of blood work. Waiting for results but am hopeful that the "mass" they are seeing in her scans is a fungal infection rather than a tumor. We should know something in a few days. Not sure why it takes so long but sitting on pins and needles sucks. Reminds of my past. Please pray for the infection. I am. Aloha.

MLK Day

2012-01-16T09:57:00.000-08:00

Just woke up and it hit me what a sad day this really is...MLK was killed in his prime. He had so much to offer us as a society and a country and it was gone in an instant. There is the possibility that he his lessons had a stronger impact because of the way he died and the timing...I am sure his family doesn't go there but just think he was a man who put his pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us. If he could change the world any one of us can too if we put our minds to it. I know my thoughts are rambling this morning but --- my next thought went to those jerks who create viruses just to screw with people...crash computers, etc. Just because they can and they want to feel powerful and somehow get a kick out of making others miserable. Well, if they would use their intelligence for good rather than evil deeds just think of what they could accomplish! When my grandson Keawe was six years old he came home from school having learned about MLK that day and said to me, "Puna when I grow up I want to be a good man like Dr. Martin Luther King." Love triumphs over evil! I choose the good guys. Here's to you Dr. King!

Power of Friendship

2012-01-07T09:22:00.000-08:00

I moved from my home town a few months ago where I had quite a number of really great friends...mostly girlfriends. I miss them. It has been difficult to meet women my own age here and that is okay but it just makes me miss my female circles from Seattle more. Well, that just puts me on FB and email more often. I recently put out a FB plea for help finding someone who would help me promote OVER THE RAINBOW BRIDGE for little or no money. My dear friend Suzi Hedrick Beerman connected me via her friend Jinx to Nikki Orzel. OMG! I love this woman. I sent her a copy of my book so she could read it and maybe come up with some great ideas for how to help me. She called me this week and we talked for nearly two and a half hours! I feel like we have known each other forever. She felt the same way and has now done an email introduction of me to her circle of fabulous women friends. I hope to one day meet them all in-person but in the meantime, it has given me a real boost to have expanded my list of fabulous female friends. Friendship is so important and I cherish all of my friends male or female. Plus this week I have been in contact with Barb my dear friend from thirty years ago. Anyway, I have been spending my free time writing short stories. Barb has helped me tremendously by reading them and giving me feedback. I also heard via email or cell from Heather, cousin Gail, sister Penny, cousin Sue and so many others via Facebook. I love you all!

The Last Day of 2011

2011-12-31T14:31:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you but 2011 seemed to fly right on by me... It was an eventfilled year from my viewpoint with highs and lows. Of course the breast cancer was definitely a low and my youngest getting her heart stomped on by a guy she thought was wonderful another low but my eldest daughter giving birth to an angel child is right at the top of the highs! Also, moving to be near the grandsons --especially since it is paradise here a definite HIGH. So, that my friends is life... ups and downs. The other important part of acknowledging that life is a roller coaster ride is in facing down your fears and upsets, looking for the lesson or the good in the situation - hopefully there is at least a tiny bit to see and feel. That said, I am stilled really ticked off at the jerk that hurt my baby girl and given the chance I would smack at least ten or twelve inches off of his giant ego but the civilized part of me has to say, "he did her a favor because clearly he wasn't right for her and she would have come in second to his basketball, which would not have worked in the long run." This is me trying to be forgiving. hah. Anyway, have a safe New Year's Eve tonight...drive defensively and soberly. Much aloha, and let's all cheer for the onset of 2012. It's going to be another awesome year to be alive on this beautiful planet. Live aloha!

Saying Good-bye Is So Hard

2011-12-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

So, my last post was about the importance of family at holiday time. Well, I got up early on Christmas morning and since everyone else was still asleep I signed in to Facebook to catch up on my friends' goings on. I read with sadness that my dear friend's mom had passed that morning. Ten years ago my father died on Christmas Eve so I know how hard the holidays hit when grieving the loss of someone you love but Christmas morning has got to be worse. My prayers and my heart and my hugs are being sent to all of Nancy's loved ones. Nancy, you will be missed but we all know that you are free of pain and singing in God's choir now. To Shari, Mike, Michelle, Christopher, Christine, Paul and Kathy, et al... sit with your memories of when Nancy was alive and well. Those memories will help ease the pain. Even though it is hard to say good-bye, sometimes it is a blessing. Grief is a natural by-product of saying a permanent good-bye to a loved one...it is not a mental illness that needs curing. Grief is what it is and you have to go through it---feel it --- and face it. You can't ignore it, run from it or deny it. If you try - it will come back to bite you in the you know where when you least expect it. I have seen that happen too many times. Live Aloha.

Importance of Family

2011-12-24T00:47:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve 2011. What a year this has been! I am so grateful for the love of my husband, daughters, grandsons, etc. This is the time of year when being close to family really matters. I am away from my husband for the first time in 26 years... we can handle it but it wasn't by choice and it doesn't feel all that great but I do have my daughters, grandsons and soon to be son-in-law right here and that feels wonderful. So, be kind to each other and enjoy the next few weeks---hopefully with your loved ones. This is also the time of year when you miss those who have crossed over the rainbow bridge already. Say a prayer and refresh your memories of the good times you shared with those who aren't here in body any longer. I miss ya Grandpa, Cory, Mom, Dad, Annie, Michael, Alycia and so many others. Too many. God's blessings and Live aloha!

Life lessons from a baby

2011-12-22T08:49:00.000-08:00

My new little grandson lights up the room with his presence. You just look at him and he bursts into a gigantic smile that fills his whole face...but its his twinkling eyes that takes my breath away. If you have ever watched America's Next Top Model you know what schmizing is...smiling with your eyes. Keoni has that perfected. Babies are so pure and Keoni is pure joy. Which brings me to my observation about older humans. I work at a booth at the harbor where people come to go on whale watching tours, snorkeling adventures, fishing expeditions, etc. It is shocking to see people of all ages (but not babies) who are on vacation -- some for the first time to Maui walking by with scowls on their faces! And some people are so grouchy! I just want to say, you saved your money and counted down the days til your trip was to start and you get over here and you cannot smile??? Please people if you can't have a good attitude in sunny tropical GORGEOUS Maui - you've got a problem. And for all those pouty little tweens and teenagers stay home already. Do you know how many kids don't get to vacation on Maui? I am so glad that I get to come home to the schmizing eyes of a truly happy baby!

Birthday Memories

2011-12-06T11:06:00.000-08:00

Today is Keili Elisabeth's birthday. I woke up calculating what we were doing 23 years ago. With the time difference between Hawaii and North Carolina I decided that my husband, my older daughter Brie and my mom were with me in the post-recovery room with the new baby bundled up and being passed from one to the other of us. What a warm feeling I got remembering that time. I called my husband to thank him for helping create such a beautiful child. Then because times being what they are -- I got on FB and wrote my daughter a quick Happy Birthday message. I am sure she isn't up yet. But, the cool part was that on her FB page there were already dozens of birthday greetings to her. She will wake up and turn on her I-Phone and read all the great messages...what a treat. Time goes by way too fast. I cannot believe she is already 23. What a blessing to have her in my life. Thank you Lord for giving me the privilege of raising and nurturing such a beautiful soul. Another reminder friends, life is short...cherish those you love and tell them as often as you can. I love you all.

writing down my thoughts....

2011-12-03T04:11:00.000-08:00

Okay, I am trying to write here more regularly. I once read that famous author and my grandmother's cousin Jack London forced himself to sit down and write for at least 20-30 minutes a day. I admire that and want to emulate his work ethic. I have been out of whack the past two days and have laid low. This gave me too much time to think about life. Is it my imagination or has there been more violent crimes-more women who have disappeared and a lot of little kids who have allegedly been snatched from their homes? How many of those were later found out to be that the parents killed him or her? Too many is the answer. It is unthinkable to me. My son died from a horrible disease and I would give anything to have had a positive outcome. I cherish the memories I have of him and to think that these monsters had healthy children who they beat, burned, drowned, or whatever...makes me beyond sad. Love your children. Hug them and tell them how much you love them every opportunity you get. Same goes for your parents, siblings and friends. Life is short---eat dessert first.

Using puppies for research----really????

2011-12-02T00:04:00.000-08:00

Am I the only person who is outraged to find out that there is an organization rescuing beagle dogs who have been caged up and used for experiments their entire lives???? The video of these sad little defenseless doggies too afraid to leave their crates and touch grass with their paws is heartbreaking and makes me really angry. What is wrong with our society? What are they doing to these dogs? Are they using kittens too? Lord have mercy! Are we talking cosmetics, cancer research or cold capsules? I am still stunned just thinking about those little doe eyed faces filled with fear.

Scratching My Head

2011-11-30T13:50:00.000-08:00

Aloha. Well, I am totally on my high horse this morning after reading stories on-line that are so disturbing. First, a story from Port Angeles Washington where a couple murdered a woman whom they had been friends with for 13 years. The man who did the deed with his bare hands is likely to get life in prison. His girlfriend/accomplice might get 11 months! Yeah, because this is a first offense. What the hell is wrong with the system? A few years back two cars with four to five kids in each drove up to a Seattle high school in broad day light. A passenger in the first car opened fire and killed a 16 year old girl. The prosecutors charged all of the kids in both cars the same. Now, one could argue that it was entirely possible that the kids in the second car had no idea that this dumb ass was going to shoot and kill someone. I would also speculate that not all of the kids in the car the shooter was riding in had known he would do such a stupid reckless thing...BUT, they all got charged with the same crime and they all got sent to prison. As I recall this was a first offense for all of the kids in both cars. Where was the leniency then? Was it because they weren't white kids? All of the kids were Filipinos and the victim was a beautiful young woman who was at least part white. Why should this young woman in Port Angeles get leniency? Who is making these ridiculous decisions? The other story that has me riled up is that Barbara Walters included the Kardashians in her special about Most Fascinating People. Give us all a HUGE break Babs and stop giving these people airtime. Using someone for ratings...showing naked yoga...talking about enemas...butt implants... and whatever else these silly crass - albeit filthy rich - people do...but I for one am sick of our society making people like them celebrities. For what? The only notable things they have done are based in negative nasty gross behavior. Enough already!!! Barbara you should be ashamed.

Reconnecting

2011-11-26T12:24:00.000-08:00

Aloha! Lately and especially this week of "thanks giving" I have been fortunate enough to reconnect with friends I hadn't talked to or seen in a while. What fun I had with my dear friend Jamie Williams Jensen while she was here on the island. It had been way too long! Then, I had recently talked on the phone with Jeff Poth. He is someone I have known since Jr. High School. In fact, we were almost related. His older brother Michael was one of my very first true loves. For those of you who have read "Over the Rainbow Bridge" Michael was my friend that Cory met in Summerland. He died a year after he had suffered a broken neck and brain injuries sustained while swimming and jumping off the giant boulders at Green River Gorge. Anyway, Jeff and I chatted recently and then I sent him and his wife Deb a Thanksgiving text and we exchanged emails and family photographs. I hadn't seen Deb since Jeff's dad passed away and I hadn't seen Jeff since I ran into him in an elevator at the King County Courthouse a few years back. Their kids are all grown up and doing well. Just love to hear that my friends have done well for themselves. Such a treat since Jeff was always more like my little brother - even though he's at least 6'4" maybe 6'5" tall! I am truly thankful for the many friends that have made my life that much more interesting...fulfilling and rewarding. Mahalo friends...Aloha!

Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T10:15:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving! Another day to reflect on our many blessings. Sometimes we get experiences in our lives that are so terrible at the time but later we see the lesson, blessing, silver lining that comes from it. Whether its a job loss, a relationship break up or a friendship that fades away. These losses can be horrific. Then, you later realize that the person did you a huge favor by showing you his or her true self... that you don't want to have this person in your life. Or the job was too stressful...not enough pay...or you had to put up with so much bull crap that it wasn't worth it and that you are much better off without it so that you can move on and find a more fulfilling job or if its a relationship--you can find someone much better suited to your values and personality. Life is short so choose well. I am thankful for the many blessings I have been given and yes, I am grateful for even the bad times so that I know how lucky I am for the good ones. Aloha!

Surprising Pain Reliever

2011-11-21T23:41:00.000-08:00

My beautiful brilliant son Cory used to say wise and witty things all the time. He was a little boy who had been blessed with infinite wisdom. If you have read my book you know that he and I shared an incredible relationship. And, that when he was blind and hardly able to move I gave him permission to use cuss words to give him an outlet for his pain, anger and frustration. Well, imagine how surprised I was to see an article headline on-line the other day that was about a study that concluded that using cuss words relieves physical pain. I loved it...we were miles ahead of our time! I can still hear his little voice from the three rooms away saying "S-GD-SOB!" I didn't let him use the F word. Maybe I should have...
Live Aloha!

New Life

2011-11-18T23:43:00.000-08:00

I have been blessed to be able to bond with my new grandson. Watching him grow so quickly -- its truly amazing really. Anyway, seeing the changes in him on a daily basis is a great reminder of how time flies...how life moves at such an incredible pace that we should all slow down and count our many blessings. I told you last time about my cousin Jimmy crossing over the rainbow bridge...well, my other cousin Ralph pointed out that Jimmy was the third and last son of my aunt and uncle's to die before them. What a cruel thing to happen. They were all adults by the time they passed but still...
Kerry, David and now Jimmy were all babies to my aunt. You gotta live gratitude. And while you are at it --- LIVE ALOHA.

My Sacred Heart Girl Is Back On Track!

2011-11-17T00:11:00.000-08:00

Well, my mom's jubilation of having my youngest with me was short lived... she figured out very quickly that Maui was too boring for her taste. So, I saw her off at the airport again this afternoon. I will miss her but its the best thing for her. She is much stronger and so much more like her old self...Thank the Lord. The illness and surgery took a toll on her and it was great to see her feeling positive about her future and looking forward to getting on with it. She learned some valuable lessons about relationships and especially about rebound relationships not being the best idea. So, now she is happily looking forward to someday having a puppy instead. Again, thank the Lord!

We lost another loved one last week..I got news from my cousin Ralph that our cousin Jimmy had crossed over the rainbow bridge. I hadn't even heard that he had been diagnosed with liver cancer. But he died from an infection caused by the removal of a skin growth. You just never know what life will bring. It is a moment by moment existence we live. So, everyone out there --- live your life to the fullest. It can change in a heartbeat. Jimmy's death was a reminder to me that love should be expressed loudly and often. Aloha!

The importance of family...

2011-11-12T02:15:00.000-08:00

Went to Seattle recently to get a follow up mammo for my previously problematic boob. All clear and no going back until February. Great news! I also got to spend a week with my sweet husband, my hanai daughter Miranda and my beloved puppies Maile and Koa. It was a bittersweet flight back to Hawaii for me. BUT, I got to stop in Honolulu and spend a short time with my baby girl and her friend. Without telling too much out of school...not my story to tell but in less than five days things got complicated for my baby girl and she is now here with me. I am so blessed to have this time with her. I have my two beautiful daughters in one place. That hasn't happened for YEARS. And, she is feeling the blessing of being around her nephews. Sliding into this holiday season I am reminded of just how important family is and how important it is to be able to support one another in times of trouble and in good times too. Life is an adventure isn't it? Live aloha!

Life is paradise!

2011-10-24T12:09:00.000-07:00

Living in paradise is one thing but knowing that life IS paradise is much more important. We spend just about every Sunday bbqing and picnicing at a beach park with family and friends. After attending church on the beach it is only fitting to relax and enjoy the sound of the waves...kids splashing... and friends playing ukuleles and singing. What a gift! Yesterday was no exception and an added treat was when my dear friend and former business partner Jamie and her husband Scott joined us for a while. They are here celebrating their ninth wedding anniversary. So, it was wonderful to have them stop by the beach park and try the ribs that Noel had prepared. Pastor Laki talked yesterday about gratitude and inheriting gifts while we are here on this planet. Yep, life is paradise...be mindful of how you treat yourself and others. Live aloha!

Life is a gift and should be cherished...

2011-10-21T23:14:00.000-07:00

I have been spending a lot of time thinking lately. That's what happens when you are looking for a job and nothing is happening... not complaining because I know one will come along soon enough. But, in the meantime, I have a lot of time on my hands and remarkably I have been able to relax enough to do some in-depth thinking. Life is really short and such a gift that we all need to take the time to prioritize...be grateful for what we have and especially live our lives in such a way that we can be proud of how we spend our time here on this planet. My son told a group of people once that he knew that when he crossed over the Rainbow Bridge that he would go without regrets knowing that he had lived his life the best way he could. What wisdom! I am grateful that he taught me that lesson. I know that living with intention is what God wants from me. Cory was my example and I strive to be like him.
Live aloha.

Grateful for life's blessings

2011-10-10T10:34:00.000-07:00

I received the sweetest card in the mail the other day from some friends who live in the NW. I first met them awhile ago when I conducted a bereaved parents weekend retreat. I won't use their names without permission so for now I will just call them "my friends". Anyway, their little guy passed away and of course they were struggling to cope. The retreat helped each one get a glimpse of how the other was feeling. The dad was 'doing' and the mom was crying. She felt like he wasn't grieving or being supportive to her cuz he was always off doing something...sometimes it was something that looked like fun. Her crying was probably frightening for him and maybe he wasn't as supportive as he could have been. Well, that is unfortunately a very typical response to losing a child and also the way couples come apart at the seams. The retreat experience was only two days long but it really helped my friends put things in perspective and start healing together as a couple and as grieving parents. Their card was to thank me for helping them. I am grateful to them for sharing with me how much the workshop meant to them. Also just happy that they are doing so much better. Life is a struggle on a good day but if you have someone who is there for you it makes the struggles that much easier to handle. Aloha!

Aloha Means Love

2011-09-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

"Aloha" also means hello and good-bye. What a wonderful almost first week it has been here in paradise. My grandbaby Keoni is the sweetest little guy. He really never cries. All you have to do is look at him and breaks into the biggest brightest smile! He is pure love and pure joy. He talks all the time and it is so fun to listen to him jabber. I think he comes by it honestly. My Keawe is still as sweet as ever too. My daughter really lucked out getting two sweet, calm, happy sons in a row. She should probably not risk having another child cuz there is no way she can be lucky three times. Although it would be good for her to get a gnarly little girl baby. haha. Life is good and even though I miss Steve, Miranda, Maile and Koa I am having a wonderful time here. Live aloha!

Life Is Short And So Random Sometimes

2011-09-08T08:22:00.000-07:00

So make the best of the time you have...that is one of Cory's best lessons. You never know when your life will end or be severely impacted. We are all one heartbeat away from the end of our lives that much is clear. I have had dinner with several of my dear friends this week and each one is having serious concerns about her parents' health and quality of life. Two other friends of mine each had a parent cross over the bridge. So much sadness even though both had lived pretty long lives. Then, I found out that another friend who is only 40 is suffering from a brain bleed---how random is that? No one knows how or why it started bleeding and are struggling with what to do about it. More evidence that we must live each day the best we can and be our best selves. Live with a grateful heart!

Life Changes For the Good!

2011-09-03T11:26:00.000-07:00

Life changes are in the air! Big ones at that... Have you ever just had such a strong "knowing" inside? Might be intuition...might be caused by indigestion...who knows? But, I often get that sense of knowing that something is going to happen and it does. Or that I am not fitting in or I feel fear creeping up my spine for what appears to be no reason. And then something major hits me in the face! Well, I have felt restless for a number of years...the sense that I should no longer be living in the cold, dark, dreary, depressing Pacific Northwest. I talked to my better half about it and at one point we considered Wilmington North Carolina but that went by the wayside. Then, on vacation before we had even left the freakin' airport my sweet husband thought the Big Island of Hawaii was the place for us. Well, that changed again because my daughter moved with our grandson to Maui. So, that is now the place. Especially since she brought a new little grandson into the world recently. Life changes for her...and now for the whole family. Aloha Seattle on September 19th...

Legacy means "a gift..." handed down

2011-08-29T13:23:00.000-07:00

I am just wrapping up the documentary I entitled, "The Greatest Choir Ever." It is about a legacy choir in Wichita Falls, Texas. The true gift is the gentleman who is conducting the choir. OMG! Donald B. Cowan is the man! I have been so inspired by his presence. I feel so blessed that I was chosen to write and produce the story about this choir - the lovely people who make up the choir and all to honor Mr. Cowan for his love, support, encouragement, mentorship, etc. What a beautiful story. I wish you all could see it after it is completed. What a gift.

Life is Scary Sometimes

2011-08-09T14:48:00.000-07:00

Watching the news about the rioting and violence happening in England and it scares the crap outta me. My youngest is heading over that way in less than two weeks and I am praying that this nonsense doesn't spread to other parts of Europe...except for maybe in a small village in Northern France :) that is a emoticon that should look evil but I don't know how to do it. haha
Anyway, I got distracted. What is our world coming to? As a former news gatherer it pains me to read the papers, watch the television newscasts and now the on-line news. Why can't people just be kind to each other? My son and I had this discussion the night before he died. As a young child he even questioned why so much war, murder, violence, destruction, etc. in our midst? I couldn't give him an answer then, and I certainly am at a loss now. It is all just too sad.

Barnes and Noble Lahaina and It's a Small World!

2011-07-30T10:33:00.000-07:00

I got so carried away describing my grandsons that I failed to give you all an update on my book signing at Barnes and Noble. What a great day it was! Again, I met such lovely people. The staff (s awesome)and all of the locals and those on vacation. The funniest was three people stopped by and one woman picked up my book. She said it looked familiar. So, we all started chatting and upon examining the back cover her friend said, "you live in West Seattle? So do I!" Haha we live about two miles away from each other on the same street! So, we determined that the first friend had seen my book in the West Seattle Herald when it was first published. Small world. The GM there told me that I could come back any time and sign books! Such an example of aloha spirit.

The Face of God

2011-07-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

Aloha, I just got back from two weeks on Maui where I was able to travel with my cousin John and his wife Jeannie. We had a great time. They only stayed the first week. Then, Keili flew over from Oahu in time for my birthday celebration. It was wonderful...but the absolute highlight of my trip was spending time with my two BEAUTIFUL grandsons. Keawe is so tall and skinny now. He has really changed so much just in a few months. He plied me with kisses and hugs every day. The baby Keoni is so sweet and peacefilled. Looking in to his little face is like seeing the face of God. He doesn't fuss or cry unless he is in need of sustenance or a diaper change. What an angel baby! By the time Keili and I left he was starting to smile and coo. Such a treat! I cannot wait until I can get over there full time. It's in the works so please pray for us that we can get our house sold and get moved over there before too much longer. Aloha!

New Life

2011-06-21T21:24:00.000-07:00

My new baby grandson was born a week ago. He is beautiful and amazing. I can't wait to meet him in person. Which, I will do when I head to Maui in a few weeks. Keoni is named after my father and his father. What a special tribute to my dad and grandfather. That name is of course his middle name. His first and last name come from his daddy. His daddy is still over the moon! A happy healthy sweet natured little guy. God is great.

Going Back to Barnes and Noble in Lahaina on Maui to sign on July 16th at 2pm

2011-06-21T21:21:00.000-07:00

Aloha to you all... I am fortunate to have been invited back to the Barnes and Noble in Lahaina. It is the only bookstore left on the island of Maui. When I signed books there in May I met people from all over the island. So, I am thrilled to be going there again! The aloha spirit guides me back and I am loving it.

Hope to see you there!

Aloha!

A Pink Ribbon Lady

2011-06-10T16:49:00.000-07:00

Well, as my luck would have it...I am now a pink ribbon lady. That doesn't mean I am going to sign up for the three day walk or anything...my heart will always be first and foremost with the children who have cancer and their families. But, I now understand a completely different side to dealing with the dreaded "C" word. I had my surgery on the 31st of May. What a trip that was! I was lucky to have my sister Rita by my side. She picked me up at 5:30am and escorted me to the hospital. First I had to answer a bunch of questions...then, I was gowned up and put in a wheelchair. A really nice guy named Dale pushed me to another part of the hospital so I could get wires placed in my left boob so the surgeon would have an easier time of removing the diseased duct. Well, the wire thing was probably the most painful of all experiences that day since I had to be awake. The radiologist was the same lovely woman who did my first large needle stereotactic biopsy. I love her. Dr. Halum is her name. Then, they wheeled me back to the other side of the hospital where I hung out for a while and then, they took me to another location where I met the anesthesiologist. His name was Craig. What a kick! The nurse who inserted my IV was an angel. I didn't even feel it. And she put it in my hand! Rita and I chatted and laughed until they came to fetch me. They could not figure out how it was that I have a blonde haired blue eyed sister. No one ever asks outright though. Which is hysterically funny to us. The nurse said to me, "so which one of you is older?" hahaha. I laughed because Rita is about five weeks older than I am. And she will always be older than me! So, I proceeded to tell them about our relationship and next thing I know I am bobbing awake in the recovery room. I was home by 2:00pm. I thought I was pretty coherent but that was a joke. My other sister had shown up while I was in surgery and so when I came to there were two of them. I was kind of confused at first - those drugs are pretty potent. Anyway, I won't bore you with the rest of the details just know that I am sick of my couch... I have read five books in a little over a week...you shouldn't try to go grocery shopping too soon after surgery cuz no matter how good you feel when you leave home that energy level can drop like a rock! I got kinda wobbly and woozy in the middle of Fred Meyer. But the best news is that I went in for my follow up and my lovely surgeon Dr. Tierney told me that all of the bad cells were gone. I don't need radiation or chemo and I praised the Lord cuz I know that I dodged a gigantic bullet on this one. Enjoy your life because it can turn in an instant. I learned that with Cory's diagnosis and now I am a pink ribbon lady...whether I want to be or not!

Book signing at Barnes and Noble in Lahaina Maui went well!

2011-05-30T16:51:00.000-07:00

Aloha to all of my friends and readers. Just got back from a trip to Hawaii. My daughter Keili graduated from the University of Hawaii at Manoa and we were there cheering as she pranced down the aisle in her bare feet to receive her diploma holder. There was a huge crowd on hand for the 1500+ undergraduates. The lei ceremony afterwards was cool too! By the time it was over Keili was lei'd up to her chin. If I could figure out how to post photos I would show you but if you are a FB friend of mine you can check my photos there. Then, we went off to Maui for a week to see my other daughter Brie and her family. We had a baby shower...made wedding planning visits to bakeries and a fabulous florist. When I find the cards with their names I will update this post. Steve and I looked at real estate upcountry and found one we really liked a lot. Keep your fingers crossed people! I did a book signing at B&N, which is now the only bookstore left on the entire island! So sad the Borders in Kahului closed down. The people at Barnes and Noble were wonderful. I met so many nice people...customers and staff. They even invited me to come back and do another signing. I hope to get there in August...I will post the dates when I know. So, the really big news since I last posted is my upcoming surgery...tomorrow. The surgeon will be doing a lumpectomy. It is a day surgery so no worries. I just hope I can tolerate the anesthesia. Well, until later ALOHA!

"The way you spend each day adds up to the way you spend your life."

2011-05-07T12:02:00.000-07:00

I love this quote. I found it amongst my dear friend Phyllis' desk items when helping Lola pack up the condo after Phyllis left us. It is in her handwriting on a tiny scrap of an index card... and I taped it to my PC monitor stand. I look at it each day and it reminds me of my beautiful friend and her amazing spirit. I miss her and wish I could talk with her about breast cancer. She was extremely private and rarely even mentioned it. She relapsed several times and it finally mestastized to her brain. I feel so blessed that mine was caught EARLY and I have nothing to fear really. For me having a diagnosis of BC is just a blip and a pain in the okole timewise but I am truly lucky compared to my friend and others like her who have had to endure a much worse protocol. I choose to spend each day of my life living with the knowledge of how blessed I am and trying to spread positive energy in the world. Tomorrow is Mother's Day. For many it is a holiday where moms are celebrated. For me it is a sad day - a reminder that another year has passed since my little guy died. Don't get me wrong...I am grateful for the time we were given but even after all these years I still miss him...his smile...his sweet nature and his mischievous sense of humor. Even though he is gone and I miss Cory I choose gratitude and to acknowledge that being his mother was a privilege. Happy Mother's Day to all mamas!

Yet Another Life Lesson in Gratitude

2011-04-29T10:58:00.000-07:00

So, I have not had the energy to post in the past few weeks. I have had yet another confirmation that cancer sucks. I was diagnosed with non-invasive breast cancer. In the giant scheme of things that is not that horrible even though it was not a pleasant thing to hear from the doctor. And in general people freak out when they hear the "C" word....but, it could have been so much worse! I feel so blessed that it was caught early - get those mammos girls! and in trying to make sense of it for my own sake, I have realized that it gives me a reason to count my blessings...a wake up call to be grateful for the fabulous man I am married to...the wonderful daughters and grandson I have and my terrifc future son-in-law who adores my daughter. Life is good even though my body has betrayed me. I will be having the lumpectomy in a few weeks and radiation afterwards but that is so minor because at one point the surgeon was talking mastectomy. So, I hope you all had a good Easter as I did. He is risen!

Passion Project for Fab Over Fifty!

2011-04-06T16:32:00.000-07:00

Guess who was picked to have an article written about her favorite charity?
Me! The longer article is on their site right now but this is the initial announcement that I had be chosen 2011 Passion Project Winner.

Passion Project 2011 Winner
Shirley Enebrad Seattle, Washington

Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation of Western Washington
Seattle, WA
http://www.candlelighterswa.org/
Cancer is the number ONE disease killer of children in our country (more than all of the other diseases combined). My little boy Cory, was diagnosed with leukemia at age three. He died right after his ninth birthday. One of the things he made me promise before he died, was for me to help other parents going through the same difficulties that we faced alone. I have been involved with Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation of Western WA since the 80's. This organization was started in 1977 by a group of parents. We are a 501c3 that provides direct support to families coping with pediatric cancer and all the issues it brings. Many families have been wiped out financially and had to relocate in order to receive treatment for their child.This meant leaving family, friends, jobs and other support. Most marriages do not survive this type of stress filled situation. Many moms are left to deal with the ill child, siblings and treatments while not being able to work due to the frequency of treatments. Many donors are happy to give to research and we are constantly in need of emergency funds to help the families get by. In the recent economy, our emergency funds requests have quadrupled. The memory of Cory inspires me to continue helping the families. We are the "candlelighters"- we light the way for those families following behind us on the most difficult and pain filled path a family can be forced to travel.

HERE IS WHAT IS ON THEIR SITE RIGHT NOW BUT THE PHOTOS DIDN'T COME THROUGH WHEN I ADDED TO THIS BLOG....

04-05-2011
{Passion Projects} Before FOF Shirley Enebrad’s son died, he made her promise just one thing…

“People don’t want to hear that kids die from cancer. They just want to cover their ears and pretend it’s not happening.” – FOF Shirley Enebrad, Candlelighters of Western Washington

FOF Shirley Enebrad’s son was diagnosed with leukemia in 1980. He was three and a half years old. Before he died, at age nine, he made her promise one thing: “Cory asked me to help other parents going through cancer treatment,” says Shirley.

“At that time, chemotherapies and treatments were evolving, and the idea of emotional support wasn’t important,” she says. “With 85 percent of marriages not surviving chronic illness diagnosis, it can be extremely isolating. I wanted support.”

But, there was not much support to be found in the Seattle area at that time. Shirley started some support groups on her own, but felt a whole organization should be dedicated to the cause. That’s when she discovered Candlelighters, an organization with the mission of giving emotional support to families facing childhood cancer. “It [the mission] wasn’t really happening though,” said Shirley. The organization was working to build Seattle’s first Ronald McDonald House, a very important cause, but not Shirley’s vision of direct, hands-on support for parents and families coping with cancer.

Shirley became president of the Candlelighters in the early 90s and helped refocus the organization. Today, the Candlelighters of Western Washington donates 100 percent of the funds it raises towards helping families directly. This includes funeral and emergency funds for financially devastated families, support groups, bereavement retreats and care bags.

“Many of our board members have gone down the same scary path and are ‘lighting the way’ for those unfortunate people who have been forced to follow us,” says Shirley. “Our needs are not as fun as a kids’ camp…or as exciting and hopeful as research, but for the families whose children are suffering right here and right now, the needs are very REAL.”

Shirley just recently “passed the baton” to a new president but continues to stay active as a grief counselor for the Candlelighters. She has also just written “Over the Rainbow Bridge,” a book about how Cory lived his life to the fullest despite his diagnosis. “I get tired but yes, I think I am fulfilling my promise to Cory,” she says.

Find out more about the Candlelighters of Western Washington and how you can help.

Legacies

2011-03-30T17:11:00.000-07:00

The Donald B. Cowan Legacy Choir of Wichita Falls, Texas is unbelievable...
I was fortunate enough to be asked to produce a documentary about a reunion choir. My dear friend Shelly wasn't available so she recommended me. I spent the weekend getting acquainted with folks and I had the privilege of listening to the most amazingly beautiful A Cappella music. I am so thrilled to be working on this project. I met wonderful people...especially the gentleman who is conducting singers from his 32 years as the choir director at Rider H.S. That's ---choir members from 1961 through Mr. Cowan's retirement in 1993. These people have been convening in their home town once a month for a year. They come from all over the U.S. at their own expense because they all feel such a strong need to give back to Mr. Cowan. They are from all walks of life and so many told me how Mr. C saved their lives. WOW! We need more teachers like this wonderfully caring inspiring man. More about this project later....
What a legacy! Speaking of legacies...I met a really awesome twosome who came from Colorado. Friends for twentysome years. Cindy drives 1300 miles roundtrip every month and her friend Burrus came with her this time. Well,it turned out that he needed to read about Cory. It has helped him already and he hasn't finished the book yet. Legacies....

Spring is finally here! Hope for the Future...

2011-03-23T11:03:00.000-07:00

It is so beautiful outside today! Spring is finally here and that roundish bright orb in the sky that puts off heat is back after many months of drab gray skies. Seeing the gorgeous Cherry blossoms on the trees and the Daffodils makes me think of a renewed sense of life and gives me hope for the future. With all that has happened in the last few weeks and that is still going on in Japan with the nuclear plants contaminating the food and water there -- I needed a day like this one to cheer me up. I wanted to share my cheerfulness so I packed up a care package to go to my grandson this morning for his Easter basket. It was fun to put cute little eggs, candy and a little something for his savings account in the box. Now that he is a teenager I am not sure if he will even get excited about candy...but I know he will be reminded of Easter and what that means beyond the candy and Peeps. I also included some baby items for the new little guy who is arriving in June. That was fun! The new parents will be tickled to get something for him too. I am praying for the people of Japan and everyone affected by what happened...that includes those devastated economically too like the folks in Hawaii and elsewhere. Let's all count our blessings and think positive thoughts for the future. If we all concentrate hard enough I believe we can make it happen.

Tsunami Warnings and Loving Lady Gaga

2011-03-16T08:59:00.001-07:00

Well, another horrific tragedy in Japan...so sad for so many. My personal story about that day is that we were in a coastal beachside resort in Flamingos an area north of Puerto Vallarta. I wasn't using my cell phone because it was on International roaming but I checked it periodically to make sure there wasn't an emergency back home or with the girls. Well, I woke up turned on my phone and there was a text from my daughter Brie. She lives across the road and one short block in from the beach park just across from Canoe's in Lahaina. The text read, "we went to high ground". OMG! I flung the bedding off of me and dashed to the television. There on CNN were the devastating scenes of the waves crushing the boats, cars bobbing like beach balls and of course, the homes being destroyed. I knew when I saw Brie's message that there was a tsunami unleashed and heading towards Hawaii. I texted her back and tried to call too. I didn't care that it was basically 3am where she is...I also tried to get in touch with Keili. I wasn't as worried about her because I knew that her apartment is not that close to Waikiki and in fact is on the eastside of the H-1. So, I waited a while to call her. Of course I woke her and guess what??? She was staying in a hotel at Waikiki! Her roommate's mother was in town and they had spent the night with her...right at the freakin' beach! Several of my hairs turned grey on the spot. That child! Anyway, it turned out to be fine for them. The damage to Maui was on the opposite side of the island and virtually no damage on Oahu. So, as we watched the news coverage we realized that the stupid tsunami was heading for the West coast and that included exactly where we were staying at our beautiful resort in Flamingos. Ha! Well, we went to breakfast and there were people strolling the beach...in the water...out on kayaks, etc. But, the only sign that our resort managers knew something was up was the lack of beach chairs on the sand. Eventually it all worked out and we really never felt nervous or scared (no wonder Keili thinks she's invincible huh?) and we never even saw a blip on the water so it really by-passed our part of Mexico. We felt lucky compared to those poor souls in Japan. And the whole thing prompted us to talk about life death and to take stock in how lucky we were. I am praying for those affected by the earthquake and the tsunami. Since I worked on the documentary "On Shaky Ground" in the beginning of my television career - I know too much, which makes things scary and just enough to keep a clear head but when it is happening and your kids are so far away and potentially in the path of destruction, you just have to take stock.

I also want to add that I am a fan of Lady Gaga. She immediately created a bracelet to support the relief effort in Japan and got it on her webshop. I already liked her because of her project with MAC cosmetics to raise funds for people affected by AIDS especially in Africa. She is a true "Sacred Heart" girl who lives her baptism and the values taught to her by the nuns of the Sacred Heart at 91st Street. Keili's same order from Forest Ridge. These all-girls' schools focus on giving girls their voice and teaching them to think globally with deep commitment to helping others. Go Gaga!

Marie Manucherhi's Radio program June 2nd

2011-03-01T17:23:00.000-08:00

I will be a guest on Marie Manucherhi's radio program--- Where Energy & Medicine Meet on June 2nd! Her show is on Tuesdays and Thursdays from noon until 1pm PST. It will be awesome. I have attended her evening sessions and they are always fabulous. Can't wait to spend time with her in the studio and chat! Marie archives her programs on her website at www.energyintuitive.com. So, if you miss the interview LIVE you can always go listen to it later at your convenience.

Also planning to sign books on Maui when I am there in mid-May. I will keep you all posted when I get confirmed dates and times. There is a Borders in Kahului and a Barnes and Noble in Lahaina. So excited!

Ciao!

Life is interesting!

2011-02-21T10:58:00.001-08:00

My life has been a constant ebb and flow of drama...intrigue...humor and of course sadness. Sparky's passing was peaceful and sad yet knowing that she is having the best time on the other side of the rainbow bridge makes it a happy time too. I facilitated a two day grief workshop the weekend after Sparky departed. It was for bereaved parents whose children passed on from cancer. It was sobering to me as it always is at these retreats. But it helped me get my perspective grounded. Sparky lived to be 98...some of the children I learned about only made it to four. The newest parents to the sad little club of grievers were really raw but everyone who attended was struggling. It broke my heart to have to tell them that the holes in their hearts will never heal - they will just get used to the pain of their loss. It is a harsh truth one that I have learned first hand. I came out the other end relatively okay so I just hope I inspired them to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. That is what our kids want from us...so, if you know anyone who is grieving please give them a hug...tell them you are thinking of them... praying for them if that is your desire but please do NOT give them unsolicited advice. Be mindful of the words of encouragement you use...I heard so much anger and pain come from parents whose loved ones and friends made their pain worse by careless choices of words. Even if you have grieved the loss of a loved one - you cannot know what your friend or loved one is feeling...thinking...experiencing because each of us is an individual. We all see the world differently uniquely. Be mindful of that...

Sparky Galando's Passing

2011-02-14T11:43:00.000-08:00

Helen "Sparky" Thelma Rassmussen Galando was my mom...not my birth mom but my mom just the same. My second mom...My sister Rita shared her with me as I shared my parents with her for most of our lifetimes. Sparky was called that because she was struck by lightning twice in one week! Can you imagine? It is funny because people always have a hard time believing it when told about it. Well, the story is extremely interesting but the part I want to share is the love she bestowed on everyone she met. She never met a stranger. And, she had the most incredibly positive outlook. Her middle years were robbed from her - spent in one mental institution or another and to hear her tell it, she was in coma for 27 years but none of that kept her down. She had the best laugh too. What a riotous sense of humor...she never complained, well, almost never. She proudly shared with everyone she met that she had been born in a tent in 1912. Yep, she lived to be 98 years old. She was coherent almost right up until the end too. She was surrounded by her loved ones and her passing was peaceful. But she won't be forgotten. I was so touched to hear her granddaughters and great grandchildren tell her how much they learned from her about not giving up and taking on challenges head-on and not taking life for granted. Those lessons will serve us all well...thankfully, my children included. They really did learn valuable lessons that most people don't get because they didn't have a Sparky in their lives. I am blessed that she was my mom and may she rest in eternal peace...her body anyway. As for her spirit, I have no doubt that she is dancing on the stars with the love of her life (Dad, Nick) and making up for lost time.

Book Signing at Sea Tac Airport Borders Has Changed

2011-01-13T11:10:00.000-08:00

The Borders folks had to reschedule my book signing...so now, I will be there on February 18th at 9am. It should be a great morning since it is the beginning of the Presidents' Day weekend and some mid-winter breaks. If you are there please stop by and say "hi" to me.

Life is interesting isn't it? I am feeling a little down because my neighbor who lost his job several years ago and could not find a new one just lost his house. Yep, he is in the process of moving out and it just seems sad because he has been here longer than we have and the hood won't be the same without him. Dave is a wonderful man who has always been the friendliest neighbor we've had. I just pray that he will land on his feet and find that maybe it was a blessing after all. But, it does remind me of all of my friends who are out of work. Me included at the moment but I am fortunate that Steve's work is stable.

All news reports indicate that the economy is getting stronger but I wish it would hurry up. It is very scary right now for so many.

Then, there is the weird weather all over the world. Our friends in Brisbane were evacuated a few days ago and from the looks of this morning's newspaper photograph showing Brisbane under water it is a good thing they left. The weather in Brazil is flooding our NE is under yet another blizzard and my daughter just texted me that the road that she needs to travel to get to the other side of her island is under mud and closed until they get it cleaned up. We here in the Puget Sound region just had our third snowfall in as many months. We rarely get snow at all so this is weird and the rain has been so hard for the past several days that our basement is leaking again. It flooded last month!

Getting ready for a grief workshop at the beginning of February. That always makes me count my blessings in preparation for helping parents whose losses are raw. Good thing I am married to a clinician. That's all for now.

A reminder of how time flies....

2011-01-07T13:49:00.000-08:00

Talk about a blast from the past! I received an interesting email from a young man who played soccer with Cory when they were young boys. In fact, Damien's dad was the coach during several seasons of play. And, Jim, the dad, was one of Cory's pallbearers. sigh. This young man is now the principal of a local high school. I cannot believe he is a grown up but to think that he is running a high school blew my mind. Life goes by way too fast. So, no real details but Damien indicated that he had a dream about Cory and coming over to visit at our old house in Lakeridge. So, when he awoke he had Cory on his mind but could not remember his last name. He also felt the compulsion to contact me. What a treat to hear from this young man and to know that he had not forgotten my son. It also appears that perhaps Cory felt a reason to connect with him. I am hoping to figure that part out. When I do I will post it here.

Apparently he is married with two small children. And his younger sister who played soccer with Brie is married with a toddler too. I am feeling old...it is also bittersweet to think that Cory should be here having babies too. Fate can be cruel. But, I am grateful for the time I was given. Cory was and continues to be a blessing to me.

Hau 'oli Makahiki Hou! (Happy New Year!)

2011-01-06T11:08:00.001-08:00

Well, the thread that was holding Malia here snapped and she is now staying with her maternal grandmother. Ten years of her living with us off and on was enough...we really did start to realize that we were protecting her too much and that now at 19 she needs to be responsible for her own destiny.

Keili came home but was delayed several days because of the Apple I-Phone alarm glitch that caused her to miss the scheduled flight. Then, she couldn't get another one for three days. Apparently the non-reoccurring alarm system failed for January 1 & 2. They should have known though because it didn't work when Daylight Savings happened. This was not something that Keili was aware of since Hawaii doesn't do Daylight Savings. Bummer! Well, she is home now even though for a short stay. We love having her here. She really energizes the house.

I am doing a book signing at the SeaTac International Airport on January 28th at 9am. I am thrilled and so grateful to my friend Erik Korhel for hooking me up. What a fun place to do a signing!

The last day and a half I have been un-decorating. We left them up so Kei could have decorations when she got here. Now it looks so bare! Glad to be sorting and packing them up though.

The New Year has given me the incentive to reflect on my many blessings. So many of my friends have been struggling with unemployment, rough relationships, deaths, and just plain stressfilled lives...I feel very fortunate to have the wonderful husband, daughters, friends, family members and doggies that I do. Thanks everyone for being so wonderful. And to my friends who are struggling - I love you and I am praying for you that your life will improve significantly this new year.

Made it through Christmas of 2010 Whew!

2010-12-28T10:42:00.001-08:00

So, it has been a month since my last post. This blogging thing takes up more time than I had thought ahead of time. Christmas was great except that neither of my daughters was home for it. This is the first Christmas without them since they were born. Very weird!
My grandson was here so that was something! What a great young man he is becoming. Still so sensitive and sweet. His hair is wild and bushy but so him. I guess his dad didn't much care for it but hey, it's hair for goodness' sake! So, I have been receiving lots of hugs from him and trying to store some up for when he heads back to Maui next weekend. Christmas is always a time of reflection for me. Growing up without much in the way of happy holiday memories always makes me appreciate what I have now. We have a new daughter named Miranda who is just a delight. Malia is hanging on by a thread but it is really time for her to get on with her life and it is now starting to feel like we are enabling her to skate. Time for reality to strike I am afraid. We spent an evening with all of my brothers, most of their offspring, my sister Penny and her family and my sister Rita and her husband. That was a kick. Fifty people crammed into my house with good food, good drink and lots of chatter. Christmas Eve we spent with my sister Rita and her family including her 98 year-old mom Sparky. Sparky had just been given a port a cath the day before as her marrow has now shut down and is no longer manufacturing blood cells. But, by golly, Sparky is hanging in there. She is amazing! We call her Sparky because she was struck by lightning twice (one week a part) when we were about eight. She has the goodness and sweetness of a small child. Christmas morning we had some friends over for brunch...Doreen is from my years at KOMO...Lola is my friend whom I met through the Emerald City Jewels a now defunct women's group...she and I bonded during the time I helped her pack up our friend Phyllis Mayo's condo after her death a year ago. Then, my little friend Henry who died a month ago left behind a grieving mama, Lihua. I was so glad that she agreed to join us. It was nice to have them all here. Food again was fabulous! Then, we had dinner with Steve's parents and they invited a lovely German couple Michael and Carolina Berger whom we have shared holiday meals with in the past. It was a great time and we appreciate our many blessings. I hope you created great memories with your loved ones as well.

Giving Thanks!

2010-11-24T21:46:00.000-08:00

It is the night before Thanksgiving and I have been thinking about my many blessings... sending e-cards to friends and family members. And anxiously awaiting my grandson's trip to the NW in a few weeks. I really miss the guy. Any minute now he is going to be too cool or too big or too old to want to spend anytime with his puna. That will make me very sad. That brings me to wondering how my in-laws must feel about my daughter Keili turning 22 next week! I think more scary for all of us is the fact that she will graduating from college in May. Wow! then it will really be time for us to let go. The girl is always five steps ahead in planning. I know that she will go far and I mean that both figuratively and literally. She will either end up in Australia - again! or it could be some exotic locale like France, Italy or Spain but rest assured it will be far from home. She claims that she will never live where it is cold again so who knows what the future will bring for her? The universe brought Brie to Maui and look what happened there! Well, my life is in a holding pattern right now but Steve and I plan to be near Brie and Keawe hopefully sooner rather than later but with this economy it really depends on when we can get our house and property sold. Need a buyer who is a builder and wants these two parcels with fabulous views of the city, the sound, the Cascades from Baker to Rainier. If you know of anyone, send em my way!

Let's live with love and gratitude! I am grateful for my loving husband... My beautiful daughters...my wonderful handsome grandson... Steve's parents who are awesome btw...so are his relatives and I am also grateful for my brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews...god children...great friends and the loving memories of my son, parents, grandpa, Annie, Alycia, Phyllis, and so many more. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. God bless!

(I am up to 14,000 hits on my web site--woohoo!)

My thoughts on Social Media--my website has 13,275 posts!

2010-11-15T09:08:00.000-08:00

Well, that little deal with my photo being put up on MSN.com a few weeks ago really was a godsend because since then I have had over three thousand more hits on my website. Pretty cooh, eh? I did a booksigning for OVER THE RAINBOW BRIDGE at the Bellevue Athletic Club on Saturday. It was a Holiday Bazaar...I was with my friend Linnea Sallberg who was educating people about XOCAI Healthy Chocolate and I ran into several former colleagues from KOMO-TV. That was fun! James Owen and Lynn Espinoza both looked great. My friend Linda Morris was there too. They commented about seeing me on MSN.com too! Social media is quite amazing isn't it? I need to figure that out mo bettah. Speaking of social media, this morning I was trying to add a few people from my email list to my Facebook and all of a sudden it said that I had sent out 877 invitations!!! So to all of my friends...I apologize for bombarding you...and I do realize that many of you are already hooked up with me on FB. Sorry for being such a dimwit with Facebook!

Life is Fleeting and Sharing Grief Helps

2010-11-12T19:10:00.000-08:00

I went to Spokane recently to help with a weekend grief retreat for parents like me. It was comprised of people whose children died from cancer after suffering through chemotherapy, radiation, surgeries, etc. I call it the Crappy Club. We all felt like crap. It is amazing how much it helps to sit around with people who understand all too well how it feels when the bottom of your world drops out and you free fall into a hellish pit of pain that lasts far longer than you ever imagined possible. We shared a lot of laughter too so I don't want you think it was all horrible. I met some fantastic new people and got reacquainted with several from a previous retreat too. As the facilitator it is my job to keep things moving and give people a jumpstart on looking within and learning how to cope with their sadness. The activities are varied as different mediums touch people in a variety of ways. Most of the participants are shocked by what gets to his or her core and brings the tears. It is always fascinating to be with a group of strong capable survivors such as the parents who attended. Of course, I felt honored that they trusted me with their memories and stories. I am always blown away at the workshops. I am always awed by the amount of growth made in such a short amount of time. I see and feel the incredible heartfelt love and support the participants have for each other--- it's inspiring... I also love to hear about the children. Sometimes it is hard to listen to someone whose pain is so raw and so familiar to my own but I also know how much sharing will benefit them in the long run. So, if you are in the throes of grief---don't try to work through it alone. Know that going for help with your grief doesn't make you weak, mentally ill or damaged...it just means you are taking care of yourself after going through a terrible loss.

Love this review!!!

2010-10-28T19:46:00.000-07:00

It appears I only know a tiny bit of Shirley Enebrad....when there’s at least two or three lifetimes worth of this woman! I’m truly blown away...on many levels. It’s taken me two days to put my thoughts and feelings together, before I could respond to you, the book, the journey.
First of all....I read it in two days. Not an easy task for me (busy schedule; distractions; slow reader!). I’ve only done this one other time, when Shawn H gave me a book to read “The Things I Want Most”....that was when Shawn sucked me into her life!
I’ve already made a mental list of who is getting this book for Christmas. My girlfriend whose sister committed suicide on Father’s Day 1987, for one. I always told her I thought Collette’s depression was a horrible brain/mental cancer that she couldn’t live with any longer. So she did her own version of mercy killing. A great explanation of what she was dealing with in the here and now, but until Cory told me where people go when they commit suicide I always anguished with what religions have told me. Thank you Cory!!! I’m sure it will bring some comfort to my friend Michelle, unless she’s already there.
OMGosh....I laughed out loud so many times. And anguished....and cried....and smiled. You are like the Army, the Navy and the Marines all in one! And Cory....what a wonder. I couldn’t wait to see what he was going to say or do next! And...you have to tell me...what airline am I forever boycotting!?!?!?!
You have opened my eyes and mind and heart to so much. And all of it, inspirational. I have never really feared death, but reading the book....I actually found myself looking forward to it!
Then the technical side of book. The writing, the flow...I was fascinated by the storytelling process. How did you do it? How long did it take? I kept thinking, “Shirley wrote this book...how did she sequence everything so perfectly? Was that as funny to everyone that read that part? Shirley wrote this book!”
Well, that was just a few things I was able to process in the past two days. I can’t thank you enough for sharing it, and Cory with me. I will forever treasure it (and probably read it again – something I’ve rarely done too – but I already find myself drawn back to it). More importantly I suppose, and I promise...I will pay it forward. Like I said, I have several people in mind that will appreciate this wonderful, inspirational story.
You are an amazing woman, Shirley! What a gift you are and have.
Be well,
Nicole M

MSN is my favorite this week

2010-10-20T14:42:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't know if you saw it or not but yours truly was one of the rotating faces on MSN.com on Sunday morniing. What a kick! Anyway, I was featured in a Careerbuilders article about people falling into new careers. Well, MSN decided to run it too but they asked for a photograph and I wasn't aware that I was the only one in the article that would have my picture with it. Pretty cool, eh? Well, the really cool part is that so far I received nearly a thousand hits on my website as a result. Now if they would all buy my book that would be even better! I also, need those who have read it and liked it...(only the ones who liked it mind you)to go to Amazon.com and write a five-star review of OVER THE RAINBOW BRIDGE. My life just keeps getting better and better. Thanks for keeping up with me.

2010-10-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

I am chatting with Frankie Picasso today at 5pm PST/8pm EST. It should be interesting. Her show is called MISSION UNSTOPPABLE. Following is instructions on how to listen to her shows...or to call in LIVE. And also, if you miss my interview, how you can listen to the archived recording of the show.

I would love to have you join our show every week and here is how you can do it. You can either listen in by going to www.blogtalkradio.com/missionunstoppable or you can CALL In LIVE at (646) 595-3741 , press 1. If you click on the show link you can then also join our chat room and interact with other listeners.

Don't have time to join us on Tuesday's? No problem... You can always listen to our archived recordings of the program by clicking on this link Mission Unstoppable. and using the convenient audio player, or download the .mp3 file and play it at leisure from Itunes on your phone or home computer!

Spokane is an awesome little city!

2010-09-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a fabulous weekend in Spokane, Washington. My friend Linnea Sallberg and I had a grand time. The night we arrived a friend of Linnea's invited us to her lovely home for dinner. Her name is Brenda and she was the perfect hostess. We had great food and even better conversation until 11pm. I really enjoyed meeting Brenda. She is a survivor and a truly special lady. She hosts hockey players in addition to having a teenaged son. There's a special place in heaven for Brenda.

The next day, Linnea took me to a Xocai Healthy Chocolate seminar and it was very informative. Isn't it amazing that chocolate has been discovered to be the perfect SUPERFOOD???? Being a devout chocoholic this news really made me happy. I swear to you --- I could get up with the best of 'em and declare, "Hello, my name is Shirley and I am a chocoholic." So, anyway, Linnea is building her business on this wonderfully healthy and extremely yummy chocolate. If any of you are interested in partnering with Linnea I would be happy to introduce you to each other.

I also did a book signing at Auntie's Books on Main St. in downtown Spokane. What a terrific book store. And I LOVE bookstores. This one had everything. It had a little cafe, a pottery/art shop in the back and it was such a quaint location. I wish I had sold more books that day but I did leave a supply there for sale. I am donating 30% of the proceeds of those books sold at Auntie's to the Spokane chapter of Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation.

We were invited to the Inland NW Candlelighters' candle light vigil on Saturday. Just about froze my toes and tush off. I foolishly thought Spokane was warmer than Seattle so didn't even bring a jacket. Big mistake. Anyway, I was asked to speak about Bereavement. It was a good turnout and I enjoyed practicing my public speaking.

Then, Linnea and I drove over to Coeur d' alene for a quick look. What a cute downtown... I had never been there. I usually just blow by on I-90. Then, we hightailed it back to Spokane and enjoyed some pie. (not so healthy but good).

Anyway, I could live there. Not sure my political beliefs would fit and it is pretty white but what a lovely small city with a big heart.

T.C. My Cat

2010-07-14T11:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I just wanted to say that grief comes in all sizes. Last week Steve was out back chatting with a neighbor over the backyard fence. It seems that this neighbor noticed he hadn't seen our cat for a few days. Steve came in and asked me and lo and behold I had thought it odd that he hadn't been in for breakfast since the day before... not dinner the previous night either. So, Steve went outside and asked the guy why he had made such an observation and he said, "well, our cat and our neighbor's cat have both been missing for a day and a half." So, Steve and I went for a walk and talked to various people asking if they had seen T.C. He was a very friendly cat and loved to drop in on our neighbors from time to time. No one had seen him. We made it up the block and found out that 4 cat's on our block all disappeared. Apparently coyotes that have been sighted near greenbelts and large parks on the other side of West Seattle have made their way into the more urban neighborhoods. There are missing cat signs everywhere! And my heart is broken. He was the coolest cat. Very friendly, didn't kill birds and rodents and bring them in the house. He was just mellow and loved to cuddle at night. I am writing a letter to the mayor's office to ask that they send animal control out to round up the coyotes and send them back to the wild. People also mentioned that there haven't been any raccoons around lately either. I don't very much care about them but I am mourning the death of my little kitty boy who was only 8 years old and all of the other pets whose owners are sad too.

Marketing Books is Harder Than Writing Them

2010-06-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

Getting a book written is harder than you think but even bigger and more time consuming is learning about marketing! I cannot tell you how much effort goes into it not to mention hiring someone to do it for you. The costs add up quickly and you have no guarantees that these folks are following through with what they told you. I met with Chris Flett who is a business wiz and he told me that I would just have to do it my own self. It is eye opening. Wish me luck and if you feel so inclined please read my book and write a review on Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com but don't forget to do the star rating part of it or it brings down the evaluation. I will write more soon...right now I have to go listen to my learning CD.
BTW, I had a fabulous chat with Carol Marleigh Kline on her radio show Streetwise Spirituality last Friday on ContactTalkRadio. She was awesome. The week prior to that I did an interview with a wonderful woman Helen Smalley-Bower from Honolulu whose show FineTuneYoU airs on Blogtalkradio...she was just terrific too. I have been very fortuntate to have met so many wonderful people while traveling this path. Mahalo nui loa (THANKS!) to all of them.

Reminder of upcoming radio programs and reviews of the ones I have already done!

2010-06-04T16:57:00.000-07:00

I was on vacation but still managed to do an interview on SUNDAY, May 23rd 7pm PST on Ronda & Tim Bertram's "Circles of Sand" show at ContactTalkRadio. It was really different having two people to talk with at the same time. Ronda and her husband Tim co-host the show that encompasses every aspect of life and love. They want to have me back on again for a follow-up plus Ronda has her own show that she does solo. By the time we had our chat she had not received my book so they did an awesome job even though they hadn't read it yet.

on WEDNESDAY- JUNE 2nd at 8pm PST my chat with another wonderful woman who was a fabulous interviewer aired. Dr. Linda's show "Fire Up Your Soul!" is on ContactTalkRadio...if you missed it you really must go to her archives. She had some very indepth questions...really made me think so, it should make the listeners think too. I loved chatting with her.

SUNDAY, June 13th 6pm PST-Helen Smalley-Bower "Fine Tune YoU"-BlogTalkRadio... Helen says, "I am a spiritual director, holistic theologian, and certified life coach. I combine all three disciplines to provide different choices for life's challenges." Fits right in with my story.

FRIDAY, June 25th 8pm PST - Carol Kline's "Streetwise Spirituality"- ContactTalkRadio... Carol's goal is to make sense out of life's most confusing moments and to help her listeners tame their dragons and move on with their lives.

WEDNESDAY, July 28th 11am PST - Rabbi Wayne Dosick's "SpiritTalkLive" show HealthyLife.net. Can't wait to chat with Rabbi Wayne. We had a brief telephone conversation and he is very interesting! tune-in!

MONDAY, July 26th 5pm PST
I just got booked by a lovely woman in Pennsylvania who does numerology. We had a nice chat. She sounds wonderful and so talented. While talking with her I told her how when I was pregnant with Keili and the doctor told me that I could choose the due date (planned C-section) I called Dr. Bill Womack and asked him to do numerology to help choose the best date during the week we had been given to choose from. Brie wanted to have her sister's birth on Pearl Harbor Day because on the calendar it was the only date of significance and she thought it was a holiday. We nixed that explaining to her that Pearl Harbor Day wasn't a good choice for our family. So, we left it in Bill's hands. Well, Alison confirmed that Keili's godfather Bill whom she refers to as Ding Dong Bill (long story for another time) had chosen a great birthday for his godchild. So, big excitement for me - she asked me to send her my info and Cory's. She will talk about our joint mission on the air. So, I urge all of you to tune-in on MONDAY, July 26th 8pm Eastern and 5pm Pacific time on BBS radio. Go to BBS radio. Click-on Live Talk #1 to hear the show.

Radio Interviews Updated & Alison Baughman's Visible by Numbers

2010-05-18T10:52:00.000-07:00

Be sure to tune in on WEDNESDAY- MAY 19th at 8pm PST for my interview with another wonderful woman that I am excited to chat with about Cory...Dr. Linda on her show "Fire Up Your Soul!" on ContactTalkRadio...

SUNDAY, May 23rd 7pm PST- Ronda & Tim Bertram's "Circles of Sand" - ContactTalkRadio Ronda and her husband Tim co-host the show that encompasses every aspect of life and love.

SUNDAY, June 13th 6pm PST-Helen Smalley-Bower "Fine Tune YoU"-BBS Radio... Helen says, "I am a spiritual director, holistic theologian, and certified life coach. I combine all three disciplines to provide different choices for life's challenges." Fits right in with my story.

FRIDAY, June 25th 8pm PST - Carol Kline's "Streetwise Spirituality"- ContactTalkRadio... Carol's goal is to make sense out of life's most confusing moments and to help her listeners tame their dragons and move on with their lives.

MONDAY, July 26th 5pm PST
I just got booked by a lovely woman in Pennsylvania who does numerology. We had a nice chat. She sounds wonderful and so talented. While talking with her I told her how when I was pregnant with Keili and the doctor told me that I could choose the due date (planned C-section) I called Dr. Bill Womack and asked him to do numerology to help choose the best date during the week we had been given to choose from. Brie wanted to have her sister's birth on Pearl Harbor Day because on the calendar it was the only date of significance and she thought it was a holiday. We nixed that explaining to her that Pearl Harbor Day wasn't a good choice for our family. So, we left it in Bill's hands. Well, Alison confirmed that Keili's godfather Bill whom she refers to as Ding Dong Bill (long story for another time) had chosen a great birthday for his godchild. So, big excitement for me - she asked me to send her my info and Cory's. She will talk about our joint mission on the air. So, I urge all of you to tune-in on MONDAY, July 26th 8pm Eastern and 5pm Pacific time on BBS radio. Go to BBS radio. Click-on Live Talk #1 to hear the show.

Dr. Anne Marie Evers' Show on ContactTalkRadio

2010-05-16T08:44:00.001-07:00

Okay, so I am a television producer and have been at it since 1985...I don't know jack about radio or how it works especially now that it is on-line live. So, I am learning new things all the time. Yesterday I did a great half-hour interview with a lovely woman from Canada. She had called on Friday asking if I could fill-in for a guest who couldn't participate at the last minute. I said, "you bet!" (always eager to practice interview skills.) Anyway, the half hour went by very quickly but we talked about so many concepts covered in my "Over the Rainbow Bridge" book. I just love talking about my son! Well, she had not had time to read my book yet so her questions were coming from the list of testimonials from folks who have read my book chronicling how Cory's stories changed their lives...and also from the marketing one-sheet I had sent too. We became fast friends and I just loved her sweet nature and the way she views life. We should live with an "attitude of gratitude"...that was my favorite line from Dr. Anne Marie because that describes exactly what I believe too. We talked about positive affirmations. She is the Queen of Affirmations. I loved it too when she told me that she had "ordered up" her husband via affirmations and positive thinking. Her view of the world is inspiring. So, after we hung up at the conclusion of the interview she called me and we talked for another 40 minutes or so. She does workshops on how to create positive affirmations and change your life. I hope to go someday and see what her process is like and also would love to figure out how to do a documentary about her.

This was such a needed interaction yesterday as my husband and I had watched the movie "Taken" the night before. What a scary movie! Especially as parents of three beautiful girls. I urge everyone reading this blog to see the movie and understand that it was changed a bit but the core of the story is based on a real person whose daughter was abducted off a train while traveling with friends and then, they were forced to be sex slaves in a foreign country. It can happen to anyone at anytime so please talk to your kids about keeping themselves safe...no matter their age...don't talk to strangers even if they are handsome and charming and your age. Check out the website for Compassion2one and see what I am talking about. This is a new organization dedicated to rescuing children from traffickers. Before you think this is not in your realm think again. It doesn't just happen in foreign places. According to the Dept of Justice, in our country Seattle is the number ONE spot for kids under 16 being lured by these scumbags. Portland Oregon is number TWO. Be afraid people - your children are at risk.

Now you know why Dr. Anne Marie Evers was a much needed lift for me. My interview with her should be available on-line at the ContactTalkRadio.com site soon in the "archives". And check out Dr. Anne Marie's website too at annemarieevers.com.

Update on Radio Interviews coming up...

2010-05-13T16:47:00.000-07:00

May 15th 12:30pm PST - Dr. Anne Marie Evers' - ContactTalkRadio
May 19th 8pm PST - Dr. Linda's "Fire Up Your Soul!" - ContactTalkRadio
May 23rd 7pm PST- Ronda Bertram's "Circles of Sand" - ContactTalkRadio
June 13th 6pm PST-Helen Smalley-Bower "Fine Tune YoU"-BBS Radio
June 25th 8pm PST - Carol Kline's "Streetwise Spirituality"- ContactTalkRadio
Sept 27th 5pm PST - the UNSTOPPABLE Frankie Picasso show - Blogtalkradio

Tune-in and or just pray for me. I would love your feedback too. Anything you can think of to help me improve would be gratefully appreciated!

Upcoming Radio Shows to Share Over the Rainbow Bridge

2010-05-07T08:47:00.000-07:00

My plan was to call every independent bookstore owner or manager in the country. I made it through NC and started on Alaska and Alabama. Then, I sat here in my living room thinking there must be a way to reach more people with my son's message that is the basis for "Over the Rainbow Bridge". I was fondly recalling the fun I had being a guest on the Dr. Pat Show (drpatlive.com--you can go there and put my name in the search and listen to the interview). Then, I got booked on UNSTOPPABLE FRANKIE PICASSO for September 27th at 5pm PST 8pm EST on BlogTalkRadio when I responded to an ask for something else...anyway, I thought geez there must be a lot of other radio shows that might be interested in Cory's story and message. So, I typed in "spiritual radio shows" and by the end of the day I had been contacted by six radio show hosts and have dates for two already! May 19th I will be on "Fire Up Your Soul" at 8pm with Dr. Linda on ContactTalkRadio and then, on June 25th at 8pm on "Streetwise Spirituality" also on ContactTalkRadio. The others will give me dates soon and I will be sure to blog about it. It is a beautiful day in Seattle. Happy Mother's Day!

Grief sometimes creeps up out of the most mundane things

2010-05-01T19:24:00.000-07:00

If you let it...I am struggling with technology today. It has been one of those days where nothing I try to do on-line is successful. I feel like a dinosaur who just awoke in the middle of a science fiction episode. This struggle made me wonder what my son would have been doing if he was here right now. He would be so wired and able to teach me how to use this new fangled thing called the internet. I tried to pay my real estate taxes...tried to do some on-line banking...tried to hook up with Amazon for some ridiculous reason that I don't even understand! Yep, Cory would have been here cheering me on or giving me a hard time with a big grin on his face. I miss him so much.

Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation Rockin' Bingo Event

2010-04-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

We had a really fun fund raiser event last night! Rockin' Bingo was the theme and guests were given the option to dress up like their favorite rock star, rock group, or a groupie/fan from their fave rock era. Since my fave era musically was probably the 70's and I was a bit of a hippie that is how I chose to dress. My husband who was supposed to show up as one of Beach Boys flaked out at the last second and came as a serious psychologist...well, more people dressed up than I anticipated and it was fun. Cindy Forrest and her husband Marcus hosted the "fun" table. Those folks are an inspiration...they know how to have a good time. My friend and neighbor Bret Wiggins aka Elvis was "on" last night and his performance was stellar. We didn't have any highschool prom goers on the premises to crash our event like last year but it was still a blast. The serious side of the event was that we have to raise money to support the families in Western WA who are coping with a pediatric cancer diagnosis and all of the ensuing treatment issues that goes along with it. Our unflappable emcee/bingo caller and our VP, Chuck Marcouiller spoke briefly about his son Max and their cancer journey...just so folks would remember why we were all there...then, Christine Hurley gave a brief pitch later on...her beautiful little daughter Brianna is a survivor and Chris is also a board member who came from the support side. Great job of describing our mission Chris and Chuck! Not sure how much we raised yet but it almost doesn't matter. A good time was had by all -- some new folks attended and learned about our mission and who we serve and we had some great prizes...good food and lots of fun! THANK YOU to all of our supporters!

Now, on to the next two events...on September 24th the Eastside Business Association in Kirkland is hosting their annual "Taste of the Town" event at the Columbia Winery and Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation of Western Washington is the recipient of the proceeds from the auction portion of the event. Then, the very next day is the statewide walk to create awareness of childhood cancer. This is a joint venture of ours with the Connie Prekeges Foundation. For more info go to conniewalk.org or check out our website at candlelighterswa.org and we will update the info as we get closer. Start building your teams now and walk for kids with cancer! It's only a 5k. Planned for Seattle, Tacoma and Spokane, WA.

Have a great rest of your weekend!

Grieving the loss of a child

2010-04-22T18:24:00.000-07:00

I attended a class last night that brought up a lot of memories of my son. Now, you would think that all these years later the pain would be a lot less...but guess what? the pain doesn't go away -- you just get used to it. I have often told others this sad truth. The hole in your heart will always be there. You can try filling it up with food, chocolate, alcohol, drugs, pets, more children, etc. but that hole has the name of your deceased child on it and it will be there until the day you die. Truth hurts sometimes...but getting used to the pain is a reality. My little boy told me before he died that he did not want people (especially me) to focus on his death but to continue to celebrate his life and to be grateful for the time we had. My wise little boy had so many insights about life, death and the afterlife. I wrote most of them down in my book "Over the Rainbow Bridge" and I encourage you to read it. I have received so many complimentary emails and letters that it touches my heart. I got one yesterday from a lovely woman in Massachusetts. She found my book at her library and it really helped her. It is still surreal for me to get fan letters. They are more for Cory than me...but I still appreciate them.

Grief Comes in Many Packages

2010-04-18T19:51:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about how children grieve and maybe more importantly the things they grieve about. In the old days (as my kids would point out means my younger years---many moons ago) most children's first experience with a loss was the death of a pet...or the death of a grandparent. That was back in Leave it to Beaver's day. Now, families move many times so the children lose friends, contact with family members, teachers, familiar surroundings, etc. Then, the divorce rate has blown through the roof and now many folks don't even bother to get married so splitting up is even easier in many cases. What does all this loss do to children? They are sad, some are mad, they feel disconnected, unsupported, and just plain lost. When kids experience the death of a parent or grandparent either one or both of their parents are busy grieving too depending on the circumstances---again...they feel unsupported and lost. I helped facilitate grief workshops for kids and teens for a local hospice organization for more than 15 years. It was incredible to hear the stories the kids told. And, it was wonderful that they were in a safe place where they could talk about how it felt to be going through grief with or without parents. Kids are amazingly resilient but they have to feel that someone is there for them or they will find other ways to cope. And that's rarely good. We had cutters, drug users, young people who drank alcohol...you name it. They weren't bad kids. They were just sad...mad...lost. Hear your children...feel their pain...be there for them. With so many adults messed up on drugs or other substances...they are not there for their children. I think that is why we have so many angry people in the world. Let's all pray for the children shall we?

Judging Others is Wrong

2010-04-09T20:13:00.000-07:00

I read with interest the story today about the adoptive mom who sent her Russian child back to Russia with a note that said she didn't want to parent him anymore. Well, now the woman is being vilified by people judging her actions. What a sad sad story and all too common these days. Apparently the boy has severe behavioral issues and the single parent who adopted him was never told about the boy's true history. Makes ya wonder what kind of screening they do in Russia. In the meantime, the Russian government is totally hacked and suspending adoptions until they can come up with a new plan for doing adoptions with Americans. This story reminds of my friends who adopted a cute little guy and now he resides across the country in a boarding school for boys who can't hack it at home-- for a variety of reasons and none of them pretty. Now, we all know that you never know even when you have a child biologically what your child's personatlity will be like... but how tragic for all adoptive parents whose kids turn out to be the opposite of what they wanted. It has to be so horrible for the children too. They have been through so much -- they gotta be angry and so many are drug and alcohol affected most have RAD, PTSD you name it. You cannot judge these parents...not even if you have been through it yourself should you judge these parents. They deserve our prayers not condemnation.

How Do We Explain Our Society to Children?

2010-03-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

I have been pondering life and the way we human beings treat each other. It really breaks my heart to think about all the negative crap that goes on because having experienced the death of a beautiful sweet child and to think that children are being mistreated and or being taught by their role models to treat others with complete disregard makes me sick. I was driving down the street and at a place where the road narrowed from two lanes to one I was forced into the oncoming lane by a young woman driving a Lexus. She decided to pass me on the right - which BTW is illegal and dangerous. Apparently she was in a hurry and I was irrelevant. Then, I pick up the newspaper and read about Sarah Palin and the Tea Party people "targeting" Harry Reid. Will someone please get a clue and send this idiot woman back to Alaska already? She is a loose cannon and if someone ends up being injured or worse based on her spewing hateful untrue messages I hope that she gets named in a lawsuit for inciting ridiculous behavior by people who are so worked up with hatred because of Palin, Limbaugh, Beck and their ilk. Truth and social justice are not a part of their realm. We have to stand up to those who would rather use people to do their evil bidding. It sounds so much like Hitler's tactics it is downright scary. Then, I read the article about the teens charged with bullying a 15 year-old girl into committing suicide. How does this vicious behavior get started? How should parents prepare their kids to fend off such hateful hurtful acts? What about the parents of those kids who have been charged? What were they missing? Why are kids so mean to each other? Is hatred a normal part of our society? What can and should be done to stop it? Can it be changed? Are we destined for worse behavior and becoming a wimpy nation of haters? Who is responsible for this gross downward spiral? It is really sad to think about....what do I tell my grandson?

The Dr. Pat Show--What a Treat

2010-03-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I was the guest on the Dr. Pat Show this morning...for a whole hour! It was a great experience. I really truly enjoyed her and she is a terrific interviewer. That is a real compliment because I have been told many times what a great interviewer I am so there ya go. We chatted about Cory and what he taught people...what he wanted people to know from his life and death. This was especially poignant since Cory's birthday was yesterday. Yep, he would have been 34 yesterday if he had survived his disease. Makes me feel REALLY old. Wow. But, let's get back to the show. Dr. Pat was very kind and asked out of the norm questions. I really liked that she felt while reading the book that Cory was a reflection of me. I had never really thought that before so it was a very interesting observation on Pat's part. We laughed a lot too. She cracks me up. I told the story of how Cory imitated Marlise by putting tissue up his nose in a restaurant to tease her. I was supposed to be describing his sense of humor and fun. He was so much fun! The hour went by way too fast and there are so many more stories to tell. In fact, I laugh now about the stories that didn't make it into the book because I hadn't written them down on paper. If you didn't get to hear the show on KKNW, go to thedrpatshow.com and look for my name on the archived shows. You can listen to the whole thing. Radio is such an interesting technology. Much different than television. Who knew? Well, Thanks Dr. Pat! It was fun.

You Have to Worry About Us As a Society When You Read This

2010-03-05T09:31:00.000-08:00

Okay, I was so stunned after reading this article that I had to share it with you. After having a beautiful healthy son who became a beautiful ill child whom I would have traded my life for...here comes a story that is so outrageously sad and infuriating at the same time that I just had to make sure others saw it. We are a sad sad sick society and here is the proof:

(March 5) -- A South Korean couple addicted to the Internet left their 3-month-old daughter to starve to death while they raised a virtual daughter online during 12-hour bouts at a cyber cafe, police said.

The husband and wife had been on the run since their baby, born prematurely, died five months ago of severe dehydration and malnutrition, police said. They were arrested this week near their home south of the capital Seoul and charged today with child abuse and neglect.

Police say the couple left their infant alone in their apartment and rushed back from the Internet cafe just once a day to feed her. South Korea's official Yonhap news agency first reported the arrests, quoting police.

Prius Online
A South Korean couple was accused of leaving their infant unattended while they played the online game Prius for hours on end. This is an image from the game.
The case highlights what experts say is as a growing trend of Internet addiction in South Korea, which has the highest broadband penetration per capita in the world. Its 24-hour cyber cafes are a mecca for online gaming. Last month, a 24-year-old man collapsed and died in an Internet cafe in the southwestern city of Kwangju after playing computer games for 86 hours straight.

The trend has grown worse with rising unemployment. In this case, police said the couple "indulged themselves online" to escape reality. "The couple seemed to have lost their will to live a normal life because they didn't have jobs and gave birth to a premature baby," police officer Chung Jin-Won told Yonhap.

The couple "raised" a virtual character called "Anima" in the popular role-playing computer game Prius Online, police said. The game, similar to Second Life, allows players to create another life for themselves in a virtual world, which includes choosing a job, interacting with other users and earning an extra avatar to nurture once they reach a certain level.

"They indulged themselves in the online game of raising a virtual character so as to escape from reality, which led to the death of their real baby," Chung said.

The couple, 41-year-old Kim Yoo-chul and his 25-year-old wife, Choi Mi-sun, also met online. It was not clear whether they had a lawyer.

Grief Comes in Different Shapes

2010-03-03T13:40:00.000-08:00

Well, I just finished helping my friend Lola sort through our dear friend Phyllis' condo and storage units. Phyllis passed away right before Thanksgiving from mestastatic breast cancer that had traveled to her brain. I miss her beautiful smile and gentle spirit but I know that she and Alycia are tearing it up on the other side of the rainbow bridge. Helping Lola was very cathartic in so many ways. I had known Phyllis for about 6 or 7 years. We were both part of a women's group and we called ourselves The Emerald City Jewels...or just jewels for short. Anyway, what a marvelous group of women! We gathered once a month for great food and great conversation. We started with seven and with first Alycia leaving us and now Phyllis we are a sad but mighty original five. We had added a few more women along the way such as Lola and a few others...but the original five are bonded tightly. Well, back to helping at the condo...our dear friend Phyllis was a very private person. She kept her illness a secret for as long as she could. Not sure if she didn't want to burden anyone or just wanted to cope in her own way but I really felt the need to do something for Phyllis so helping Lola was my way of coping with the grief and loss of my beautiful friend. Sure we cried when we found certain items and writings...but it wasn't about me or Lola it was indeed about Phyllis. So long dear friend.

Life is Good...Even When You Have the Flu

2010-02-23T12:06:00.001-08:00

Well, it is a good thing that I had a flu shot this year because it really did lessen the symptoms of the flu bug that got me this week. I think about feeling sick for 24-36 hours and then laugh. Cory was sick for five and a half years! What a courageous little boy he was...and so many other pediatric cancer patients too. They go through so darn much and no one wants to think about kids being sick or God forbid dying but it happens. Cancer is the NUMBER ONE disease killer of kids in our country. More kids die from cancer than all of the other diseases combined. So, why is it so darn hard to get people to listen and care? I love my dogs and my cat and I hate to throw them under the bus but American people care more about animal abuse issues than foster kids, abandoned and abused kids and certainly more than kids with a life threatening disease. Where are our priorities anyway? That is something that will always puzzle me and also push me to work for the children like Cory whose families need help. Anyone want to help me?

Silver & Gold Friendships

2010-02-19T17:57:00.000-08:00

I just had a wonderful day that started off with me getting a parking ticket because I was in such a hurry that I accidentally parked in front of a wheelchair ramp that was placed in the middle of a long block. I have always seen them at corners and cross walks so I was a bit bummed about it. But that didn't last for long.

I had brunch with my nephew's mother who has always been like a sister to me. We had a nice long visit. I always feel so good whenever I get to spend time with her. She is truly a wonderful person.

My second date was with Marcia Shaver who is someone that I met a week and a half ago. She is finishing up a book and using the same publisher that I did. We had tea and chatted. I gave her my book to read. A few days later she sent an email telling me that one of the people in my book was her best friend and neighbor. I was so thrilled to get an update on Elaine. So, Marcia arranged for us to all have tea today. It was so great to see Elaine. It has been years. She was my son's hospice nurse. She is such a softy that she started to cry as soon as she saw me. Then, she told me how she keeps Cory's picture on her calendar and that she still thinks of him all the time. It was very sweet to hear that. She also shared with me a "visit" Cory made to her to tell her good-bye. Also, very touching.

We talked for two hours. It was so nice. At one point she told me what a good mommy I was to my son and how much she learned from me about parenting. She was childless when she took care of Cory. It was so sweet of her to tell me that I should have no regrets because I courageously took unpopular stands on his behalf and how I was way ahead of my time in demanding that the healthcare professionals respect my son's end of life wishes. Wow what a gift she gave me today.

Life is a whirlwind!

2010-02-13T20:10:00.000-08:00

We just hosted two beautiful young women from Korea. They became part of our household for six weeks. It was so great to get to know them but even better to watch them learn about our culture and improve their language skills. Our language has to be the worst possible language to try to learn. We have so many slang words incorporated into our every day use and also the silent E. That was amusing. But, one day Steve realized that Bella wasn't sure how to answer his question. It dawned on him that we have a bad habit of asking questions in the negative and thereby confusing non-English speakers. For example we might say something such as, "so, you won't be home for dinner this evening?" rather than asking "will you be joining us for dinner?" Once we realized what we were saying it was mindblowing to see how often we did that and our friends too! Having the girls stay with us helped me to realize that we are a nation of arrogance...we think everyone should think the way that we do... we are not the center of the universe.

Share this Prayer

2010-01-17T13:59:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends let us pray.......

Lord, I just want to say THANK YOU, because this morning I woke up and knew where my children were. Because this morning my home was still standing, because this morning I am not crying because my husband, my children, my brother or sisters need to be unearthed from underneath a pile of concrete, because this morning I was able to drink a glass of clean water, because this morning I was able to turn on the lights, because this morning I was able to take a shower, because this morning I was not planning a funeral, but most of all I thank you this morning because I still have life and a voice to cry out for the people of Haiti. Lord I cry out to you, the one that makes the impossible, possible, the one that turns darkness in to light, I cry out that you give the people strength, that you give them peace that surpasses all understanding, that you may open the streets so that help can come, that you may
provide doctors, nurses, food, water, and all that they need in a blink of an eye. For all those that have lost family members, give them peace,give them hope, give them courage to continue to go on! Protect the children and shield them with your power. I pray all this in the name of Jesus!!!

To all my friends please continue to forward this so that we can pray together for the people in Haiti. We here in the USA are truly blessed! I for one wake up everyday and thank God for giving me another healthy day on this planet...another day with my loved ones...another day with food, water, clothing, heat, and friends. Let us all focus on being grateful for what we have and in whatever way possible let us all help those who need...those in Haiti and other sites of disasters.

Golden Apple Awards--Airs Feb. 25th on KCTS

2010-01-16T17:24:00.000-08:00

Well, last night we taped the Golden Apple Awards at the Intiman Theatre in Seattle. This was the 18th year that Pemco Insurance and KCTS-TV have jointly honored exceptional educators and educational programs throughout Washington State. I was asked to be the Associate Producer by my friend Josephine who is the main show producer. The winners are chosen by a panel of people who know excellence when it comes to teaching. I was also lucky enough to be chosen to produce profiles of two of the recipients. I was so awestruck by these two women and what they are able to do in a single school day. Ann Smith teaches gifted fifth graders in Vancouver Washington. She has a great principal and apparently a great school district that supports her efforts. You might think that gifted kids are easy students and in some ways that is probably true but in other ways they are not always the most socially adept kids for whatever reasons. Ann Smith's kids were presenting a Renaissance Faire when I was there. They made their costumes. Ann had assigned them identities and they had to research their occupations and come up with ideas of things they could make and sell in their marketplace. She had them prepare a feast that consisted of at least five different dishes. We got there and they set up, started their preparations and with the help of some great moms they put together quite a lot of food. Then, they had younger students come through while each explained his or her occupation and what that meant. They sang, they danced and they gave speeches...all in character. Now, mind you, this was all before lunch! Lunch by the way was YUMMO! Then, they read, wrote, answered questions, played an ancient game of checkers. I wish I could have done a half hour documentary on this class of kids... who also by the way, go to the nearby creek once a month to monitor the water quality, temperature, flow, etc. They present their findings to adult professionals and college level educators later in the year. My second teacher profile was of a beautiful petite Vietnamese woman who teaches in South Seattle. She teaches kindergarten students many of whom are ESL kids. We visited them on the 59th day of classes. Most of these children did not know their alphabet when they started this school year. She has them reading, journaling, doing math problems and so many other high-level tasks. I was blown away by these little five year olds. I asked if it was a gifted class and she said "no, just regular kids." Well, they are not regular kids and Huyen Lam is not a regular teacher. She has a business degree and had opened her own retail establishment. She figured out fairly quickly that she wasn't cut out for some of the behind the scenes dealings involved with her trade. In the meantime, several neighborhood kids had come in to visit with her and ended up asking for help with schoolwork. The light dawned and she knew that she wanted to make a difference and to try to fix flaws in the education system...her first thought was that giving the students a strong foundation as young as possible was the way to go. That is what she does. She does not coddle the kids and just expect them to play and get used to learning. She pushes them to want to learn. I loved it when she chose a boy to lead the class during math time. (each week a different child is chosen to lead this part of their day)...In addition to math they figured out what day it was, how many days they had been in school, what month, day of the week, etc. This little boy was so confident and sure of himself---it was so empowering for him. All of the students participated and got so enthusiastic about learning. The whole day was one jaw dropping task after another. I was humbled by the amazing way both of these beautiful bright strong women molded their students right before my eyes. Teachers deserve so much more recognition than they receive. That old cliche about kids being our future is true and we should all be thankful for people who chose to dedicate their lives to making sure that all kids not just their own are given the tools to create the future. Thank you Huyen, Ann and all the rest of the teachers who work so hard for so little thanks and compensation.

The program will air on PBS stations throughout the state. FEB. 25 @ 7pm on KCTS 9 Seattle and KYVE 47 in Yakima. FEB. 27th on KWSU in Pullman @ 10pm and on Marcy 5th @ 9pm. FEB. 28th at 1:00pm KSPS in Spokane. March 4th @ 10:00pm on KTNW in the Tri-Cities.

Gratefulness Goes A LONG Way!

2010-01-13T18:34:00.000-08:00

Well, I haven't taken the time to blog lately. Went to Hawaii and spent some good time just soaking up the sun's rays...read six books and spent time with family. I am so grateful to have my family. Good, bad or indifferent - they are all mine. But, that is not the real reason I decided to blog about gratefulness today. I just read five very sweet thank you notes that I am forwarding to one of our lovely sponsors for the Candlelighters' Holiday Adopt a Family program. This particular sponsor adopted 11 families again this year. So, five thank you notes is almost half! That is the biggest return we have had in years and years. Okay, so we provided self addressed stamped envelopes with the note cards but I am just ecstatic that we got this many back. In recent years we were lucky to get one or two out of 55. This year we actually processed at least 70 families through our program. I am so thankful to all of our generous sponsors...our volunteer drivers who really helped since I normally do most of that part and since I was smart and went to Hawaii these folks were sent from God above to take care of the pick ups and deliveries. And, now I am so grateful that at least some of those we served had the energy and the wherewithall to write a note of gratitude and send it in. I am just plain happy with everyone! God is good.

Another Rough Week for Children with Cancer

2009-12-12T09:20:00.001-08:00

The holidays are bearing down on us and everyone is feeling the pressure to get ready for Christmas or whatever holy day they celebrate. I am not doing much of Christmas this year and it feels pretty good. We are going to visit our daughters and grandson in Hawaii so decided to forego big gift expenses except for Keawe and Malia. Malia who will be here celebrating with her godmother's family. Bless them for taking her in. But anyway, in preparation for being out of town I have been scrambling to organize the adoption, pick-ups and deliveries of 55 families with sick children--most with cancer. That number doesn't include those that Anne took care of for Mary Bridge children. So, we have definitely far exceeded our average this year. We were able to do this because so many generous people stepped up to help. It makes them feel good and their participation is helping families. Glenda R. an angel who works for the City of Bellevue asked if she could adopt a family... well, when we got to talking she offered to put out an intranet at work and ask for sponsors and drivers to help with picking up and delivering. OMG! Where had she been these last few years? It was so awesome. I have been able to organize all of these families, sponsors and drivers with time to spare. It helps take away some of the sadness. The stories I hear this time of year make me sad yes, but also renews my spirit about what Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation of WWA is about. We help families 365 days a year not just at Christmastime. We help with food, gas, utilties, rent/mortgage, car payments, and sadly yes, funeral funds. We just helped with a two month old baby's expenses...and in the same week sent a little boy and his mom off on what will probably be his last wish. We help find housing when there aren't any other options - again, because of generous sponsors who believe in helping children with cancer. I applaud the social workers who work on behalf of these children - tirelessly and without much appreciation at times. I applaud the lovely folks who run the Ronald McDonald Houses and do it with heart. I really really applaud and appreciate volunteers! We could not do what we do without them. But there is a cautionary tale in here too...social networking is great in many cases but can be curse for some. This week I received six email pleas to help a family from out of the area. I jumped right in and did what I could. I contacted the social worker to let her know what was available through our contact. Well, the whole thing got long and drawn out. But, in unraveling the whole episode it turned out that they did not need the help that had been asked for by people who didn't even know this family and so therefore were not in the loop when it came to the latest information on his situation. The social worker wsa inundated with calls and emails from well-meaning people...she was already doing her job. Several well-meaning people took it upon themselves to call the RMH and demand services for a child whose name they didn't even know--- the RMH people had to track down who this family was that desperately needed their help and guess what? His family was already being served there and did not need the help. But my point is thse well-meaning folks caused a huge amount of unnecessary work -- took up a lot of people's valuable time and quite frankly should have stayed out of it. My friend Mary Anne who runs the Candlelighters in Spokane pointed out to me that social networking is good and bad. I agree but let's leave life and death decisions to the professionals who are trained and experienced at dealing with such crises. That's enough for now. Have a great day!

Sad Day

2009-12-03T19:03:00.000-08:00

I have had one of the saddest days since 9/11. My dear friend and fellow jewel passed while I was in NC and today was her funeral. It was very nice but I was just so filled with sadness all day. I was also dealing with several sad Candlelighters' kids situations. It is okay to cry but I am afraid if I start it will be difficult to stop. My inner conversations today have been all about struggling to appreciate the good things that happened today...number one - it didn't rain...all day! number two -- I have my health...number three -- life is good for me for the most part... and I should be able to pull myself together....number four --I will get to see my daughters and my grandson in a few weeks. I think I will just go to bed early and trust that tomorrow will be brighter for me.

North Carolina Booksignings

2009-11-27T13:02:00.000-08:00

Well, I had a terrific time in North Carolina last week. I got to see so many of my friends and several of Steve's relatives while there. My friend Carrie Hewitt and I flew out of Seattle early Thursday morning. It was fun to show her where I used to live, etc. My dear friend Art Howard picked us up from the airport...and then, we headed to downtown Raleigh for supper. He took us to The Pit a great southern cuisine restaurant where Carrie had her first taste of collard greens and Hush Pupplies--one of my favorite items. Then, we stopped by WRAL to leave my DVDs and a book for the producer. Ran into some friends there...Clarence and Dona. On Friday, I was interviewed on the Noon News at my old station WRAL-TV in Raleigh by a wonderful anchor friend Bill Leslie. It was a great opportunity to promote the booksignings in Raleigh and in Wilmington. I haven't been on that side of the camera is a great while and it was good practice. Talking with Bill made it so easy too. I was trying desperately not to say uh, um or any other filler words. I guess I did pretty well. My booksigning at Dancing Moon was fun...Joanie and Lori came right before it ended which was awesome cuz then we all went to dinner at The Point in North Raleigh. I had one of the best salads ever~! Saturday, Waltye, Carrie Hewitt and I went to the Seagrove Pottery Celebration which was a treat. Steve's cousin Ippie joined us as did Carrie's friend Peggy from Atlanta. She drove six hours to see Carrie. They had not laid eyes on each other for 27 years. It was sweet to see how they just picked up where they had left off. Peggy was a doll. Very sweet and such a pleasure to spend time with. I can see why she and Carrie have been such good friends. Waltye was a gracious hostess as always and it was special to get to spend so much time with her. On Sunday, I had brunch with Dan and Julie Oliver in downtown Raleigh while Waltye was directing her church's choir and Carrie had spent the night with Peggy at a hotel in Cary. Dan and Julie are so awesome...and FUNNY! Afterwards, I got back up with Waltye and we picked up Carrie and headed south. On the way, we stopped off in Fayetteville to see more of Steve's relatives, the Grannis family. Ed is the DA in Fayetteville...a job I cannot imagine. With two military bases there he has his hands full! and he has been the prosecuting attorney for many decades. That terrible case there last week with the little girl who had been pimped out by her mom and then murdered by the wacko who took her would give me nightmares. I am glad he has the disposition to handle such cases...someone has to do it. We made it to Ocean Isle Beach Sunday night and it was great. We stayed at The Winds which is owned by Carrie's friend Debra Hamilton. I got up the next morning and walked on the beach. It was great but it torqued my back and I paid for it later. I highly recommend The Winds. It was very nice and cozy. We spent one day toodling around Calabash shopping and eating fresh seafood with - you guessed it more Hush Puppies! Yummo. We actually drove over to the S. Carolina side of the border so Carrie could get her picture made with a South Carolina sign behind her. It was only about five miles from where we stayed. Then, we got to have breakfast the following morning with our hostess Debra. She is this tiny little Southern beauty and so generous! Loved meeting her. We all trekked on over to Wilmington. Waltye and I went to meet up with Steve's Uncle Charlie and his wife Betsy. I love their home it is so comfortable and just beautifully decorated. They are such a wonderful couple and so loving. They took Waltye and I out to lunch at a place on the riverfront in historic downtown Wilmington...called Elijah's. It was great to catch up with them. Then, they delivered me and my books to Two Sister Bookery in the Cotton Exchange. What a delightful bookstore! It was so quaint. It made me miss The Good Book, my old shop here in West Seattle. I had fun meeting folks and was invited to come do another signing the next time I am in NC, which might very well be next May or June when Keili wants her Pampa Ed to teach her how hang glide at Kitty Hawk. We will see... so anyway, after the booksigning we hit the road and headed back to Cary to rest up at Waltye's pack for our return trip home and for her trip to New Jersey to spend Thanksgiving with her cousins. Carrie and I spent part of our departure day with Dick and Margy King some friends of ours from when we lived in Chapel Hill. That was a treat. We spent most of the day at A Southern Season. WOW! a tiny little local gourmet food shop has grown into a megastore with delis, restaurants, over 100,000 bottles of wine, a chocolate section that was unbelievable, beautiful pots, pans, gadgets galore! It is amazing. We then caught our flights home and arrived just in time to get a few hours rest before Thanksgiving. Which brings me to the many reasons why I am thankful...for wonderful friends, family, good health, love, and beautiful memories of my son, parents, grandpa, Alycia, Michael and my newest angel friend Phyllis who passed away while I was in NC. She was and will always be a jewel in my heart.

Veterans' Day and Grief Issues

2009-11-11T23:58:00.000-08:00

It just occurred to me how much grief surrounds Veterans' Day. I don't want to sound old but most young people have no idea what this "holiday" is about. If my dad hadn't been a paratrooper in WWII (most of his brothers served that war too)I probably wouldn't know or want to know. It is just plain sad when you think about how many lives are affected by wars or conflicts whichever description fits... I remember when my brother came back from Viet Nam...wounded...disillusioned...guilt ridden and for what? He told me that they kept fighting over the same piece of dirt. It didn't take long for the guys to figure out they were in a lose lose situation. My dad never really got over his war experiences. I am not sure my brother has either. He doesn't talk about it. I was once madly in love with someone who had PTSD from Viet Nam. There was no way I could continue the relationship once I realized just how bad off he was. What can we expect? You put a young man or some are even teenagers...out there with a gun and maybe the worst act of violence they ever suffered was on the football field in high school and how are they supposed to cope with the emotions of killing another human being or watching others be killed around them? Grief is a lifetime struggle for so many. I salute all of the young men and women who are in our armed forces fighting for our freedom but I really wish they didn't have to kill or be killed.

Booksignings in Raleigh and Wilmington North Carolina

2009-11-10T17:37:00.000-08:00

I am heading to Raleigh next week and will be doing a booksigning at the Dancing Moon Books & Gift Store in Raleigh on Friday, the 20th from 4 to 7pm. Then, on the following Tuesday, I will be in Wilmington at the Two Sisters Bookery in the Cotton Exchange in historic downtown Wilmington doing a signing from 2 to 4pm. I am very excited and grateful to be sharing my book and especially Cory's wisdom with more people. I am also doing a signing and discussion at Celebration Conscious Living in Colorado Springs on January 23rd. Time tbd. I will be sure to update my blog when we get the times firmed up.

Past Present and Future

2009-11-09T15:55:00.001-08:00

When people hear that my son had "out of body" experiences for a year and a half before he died they react in two ways... they either look at me like I have two heads or they are relieved to hear that there is an afterlife...a heaven or Summerland as Cory called it. I had the most incredible experiences myself recently when my friend April and I went to a picturesque little village in Western NY. It's called Lily Dale. It is an hour Southwest of Buffalo. The setting was wonderful. Beautiful trees and a serene little body of water called Cassadaga Lake. The buildings are original from when the village was built by people whose religion is called Spiritualism and they are called Spiritualists---130 years ago. The most incredible thing though was the history of this village and why it is famous. There are 44 registered mediums there between mid-June and Labor Day. I am telling you it was fascinating. In fact, I am trying to work out a deal to go back and do a television series on the place. Well, I won't tell you the whole story today but just know that when I think something is woo woo...it most certainly is. I got to have conversations with several friends and relatives who are in spirit...including my son Cory. I loved it. I bought a book about the village's history and you will not believe what happened???!!! The author made a reference to the spiritualists' version of heaven. They call it "Summerland." More next time....

Serving Pediatric Cancer Families & Healthcare Costs

2009-11-06T18:29:00.000-08:00

Well, it is that time of year again. Our Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation chapter does a holiday adoption program. We have averaged 55 families the last few years. This year because of the economy we have had a number of sponsors tell us that they do not have the resources to help us out. Unfortunately the sponsors for the local Ronald McDonald House and Seattle Children's Hospital Oncology Dept. bailed too. So, we will likely have a lot more needy families to serve. I have faith that we will get enough generous people who want to help...but it is worrisome. Many of our families have been wiped out emotionally, physically and monetarily just by the diagnosis and ensuing treatment costs. Even with insurance that 20% that is yours can devastate anyone. So many people do not have insurance at all. It is unfathomable to me that we live in a country like ours and have people who cannot afford their co-pays, medications, treatments, etc. I pray that President Obama can fix this problem and that insurance companies and medical facilities will have some of that courage to do the right thing that I wrote about in my last posting.

Courage

2009-11-04T07:55:00.000-08:00

Having the courage to stand up and do the right thing is instilled in us from childhood. I think that courage is displayed in many ways. Standing up to bullies is one... bucking your peers and doing the right thing as opposed to the popular thing is another. Facing down a life-threatening illness with dignity is true courage. Some do it with flair while others do it quietly. If you have ever observed kids who are coping with cancer you know that they are usually doing it quietly but they are made of steel. I know many adults who have had cancer. Again, some handle it well others do not. I have never seen a child or teen patient do it badly. I especially am blown away by the young ones such as Cory who adapt and get on with it. They don't whine and fuss. They take their treatments like little soldiers and continue the battle. Then, they play. We adults need to be more like them.

"Take it or leave it" means freedom to share

2009-11-03T09:20:00.000-08:00

Writing a book about your personal life is an intense process. It takes an attitude of "this is who I am, take it or leave it." Good thing I was born with that attitude. At least that is what it feels like after all these years. Back to my original point---laying yourself out there with all your warts and insecurities really does take guts. My naturopath told me yesterday that she is in the midst of reading my book and if she didn't already know me she would have thought I was way out there with what I wrote in Over the Rainbow Bridge, My son's journey... I chuckle now but in retrospect, I don't think Cory's experiences or mine for that matter were so unusual. Since the book came out I have had so many people share with me woo woo experiences they have had and had not told anyone before. Cory and I have given people permission to share things that they have long kept hidden because of the fear of not being taken seriously or not being believed. That is really pretty cool when you think about it. Feel free to share! Get it off your chest...Share it right here if you want. It will could you feel better.

2009-10-31T08:52:00.000-07:00

Writing a blog takes some thought...yesterday I was shooting in Vancouver, Washington and didn't have time to think about anything but that. I created a fan page on Facebook the other day but now not sure what I am supposed to do with it. haha. I love technology but sometimes I feel like a dinosaur with a Bic lighter. I know, weird way of saying technology is great but I am of a generation that might be too mindboggled by it to know how to use it effectively. I will have to go ask my friend Erik Korhel. He is my "nudger" when it comes to getting with the program on promoting my book. I really need that.

Yesterday I was with a class from a challenge program. Gifted kids who were very impressive. They reminded me of Cory and his friends at the University Child Development School...long time ago. So gifted academically but not necessarily very adept socially. It was fun to be an observer. I am always so blown away by how hard it is to be a teacher. The teacher we were featuring was AMAZING. She had so much to do and so little time. She kept the kids clipping along -- I imagine so they wouldn't get bored because these kids are extremely bright...it made me wonder about regular classrooms where the kids are all at different levels of understanding and talents. Yikes! I will stick to television...so much easier. I salute all teachers!

Parents/Grief/Over the Rainbow Bridge/lessons

2009-10-28T09:34:00.000-07:00

When I woke up this morning my head was filled with thoughts about my son, his lessons, how parents normally react to a child's death and what it meant for me. Here is what was swirling around in my head.

Most parents who suffer the death of a child let it define the rest of their lives.

Many are battered and broken.

Not me, I am in the survivor group – I started support groups, conducted grief workshops, revitalized a sagging non-profit and marched on Capitol Hill to tell lawmakers why research money is needed for children’s cancers.

And now, I have written an inspiring book about my son’s journey from a healthy happy three-year-old to the little teacher whose insights were hailed worldwide by famed ‘death and dying’ author and researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross…Seattle school children and also his friend, The Hoff.

Over the Rainbow Bridge (My son’s journey from here to Heaven) is a page turner that will crack you up with laughter and make you cry. The book chronicles the experiences shared by Cory from birth to crossing over the Rainbow Bridge to a place he called Summerland. It is not maudlin or sappy but honest and full of hope.

Cory counseled suicidal teens at his school. Kubler-Ross used his stories and drawings in her grief workshops where thousands of people learned from him. He taught me to live with a grateful heart…for having had such a wonderful child for nine years and for my many blessings.

Thoughts on children and dying

2009-10-27T15:03:00.000-07:00

I was just searching the web and reading several blogs about grief, death and dying, etc. It is amazing to me how much is out there. Times have really changed so much in the last several years. It does my heart good to see so many sites.

It was also interesting to see several sites that had do's and don'ts about grief. I facilitated grief workshops for children and teens for 15 years for a local hospice and I learned so much from the attendees. Most of the rules I just read on-line make sense.

What I didn't see (it is probably there somewhere) is something that I always make sure to tell parents...children and teens do not grieve on the same timetable as adults.

In the case of either the loss of a parent, grandparent or sibling...and depending on the situation and how the parent/s are doing kids generally take their cues from the grown-ups. For instance, if dad died and mom is struggling to cope the child will wait out of fear mostly---the fear that if they put one more burden on mom she won't make it.Ao, the child is stuffing his or her emotions about dad's death and not getting the normal amount of attention from a struggling mom...double whammy.

Once mom starts doing better, then, the child starts to grieve. Oftentimes the mom doesn't connect the acting out, moodiness or grades slipping with the loss because it has been so long and she is feeling better. It takes even longer with teenagers. Be cognizant of your child's moods and behavior. And be patient...once they start to grieve you have to help them deal with their pain, their fear and their loss.

Kids grieve too.

My first post

2009-10-27T11:48:00.000-07:00

Today I have been researching Spiritualist organizations who might carry my book. The idea to blog comes from my very talented author/poet friend Erik Korhel. We spent a very nice lunch the other day while in the midst of the revitalized Seattle Bookfest and he being several decades younger than me---gave me a serious pep talk about getting busy marketing my book via blogging, etc. Writing a book was easy compared to doing the whole business side of things.